


i hope the night sky is pretty wherever you are.

by Idnis



Series: i hope the night sky is pretty wherever you are universe [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Eventual Romance, M/M, Pining, Rating may go up, Romance, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, also angst, especially tsukki, last two chapters are higher rating than the rest, tsukkiyama - Freeform, where you write on your arm and it appears on your soulmates arm as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-17 18:20:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10599555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idnis/pseuds/Idnis
Summary: Soulmate au where what you write on your skin appears on your soulmate's as well.Except Tsukki hasn't written to his soulmate for years. He doesn't think it's okay for the universe to just decide who's the one for him. Ever since he was young he decided that Yamaguchi was the one for him, and no soulmate was going to change that.If only Yamaguchi thought the same.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hallo ! It's me, procrastinating my newest HxH fanfiction idea because I just finished watching Haikyuu!! season 3 (I know, I waited for way too long) and it really punched me in the face with feels. I needed somewhere to go with all these TsukkiYama feels, so I just started writing and... this happened. Don't worry, I've thought about the story a bit more now. It's not completely improvised haha.
> 
> I hope you enjoy !

 

_How do you feel when you love someone who doesn’t love you back?_  
_Okay, maybe I should add that he does love me back._  
_But in a different way._  
  
Tsukishima looks at the words written on his arm. He scoffs. It’s stupid. He’s never believed in the whole soulmate business, and he has no desire to meet this so-called perfect person. The universe can suck it, since he already knows who’s the one for him.  
_God, I hope they don’t write back._  
  
With a sigh, he stands up to wash away the messy words written on his right arm. As if he’d be that stupid to write with his right hand. What if his soulmate is someone he knows? They could tell it was him by his handwriting.  
The soft bathroom light flickers above his head as he tiredly washes his arm.  
_Stupid._  
He’s dabbing his skin with a towel when he sees that the pen marks didn’t go away entirely. Frustrated, Kei turns on the water again, but then he looks at the words again.  
It’s not his handwriting.  
Crap.

_It sucks._  
_Tell me when you’ve found the answer._

Well, that made sense. In a way. It’s his soulmate after all, and Kei has barely written to them his whole life. Useless answer though.  
  
With slow steps, he walks back towards his bed and lets himself fall into it. When he turns off the light, he notices his phone is flickering, telling him he’s received a message.  
But he’s already put away his glasses.  
He’s about to ignore it when the rational part of him reasons that no one ever bothers texting him this late. No one but Yamaguchi.  
He picks up his glasses.  
  
[from: Yama]  
can’t sleep tsukki  
  
A quick glance tells him it’s nearly 1 o’clock.  
  
[to: Yama]  
Try counting stars.  
  
Kei doesn’t bother to put away his phone or his glasses. Yamaguchi’s replies are usually fast.  
  
[from: Yama]  
but I can’t even see the stars from my bed!  
  
[to: Yama]  
What about the ones we put on your wall?  
  
Laying his phone on his chest, Kei glances up at his own ceiling, where lots of shining stars are spreading out above him. They match the ones at Yamaguchi’s place.  
  
[from: Yama]  
I’ll try that tsukki! sorry to keep you awake  
  
[to: Yama]  
Don’t worry. I’m always up for looking at stars with you.  
  
And it’s so _obvious_ that Yamaguchi must certainly get it, must know what he really means. But,  
  
[from: Yama]  
night tsukki  ☽

Of course it’s not obvious. They’ve been watching stars together since they were kids.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
The next morning brings cold air and an abnormally blue sky.  
Kei leans against the brick wall where he always waits for Yamaguchi so they can walk to school together. His headphones drown out the early morning noises.  
  
When he lifts his phone to skip a song, his eyes fall on his wrist. His very pale and very empty wrist.  
And it will stay that way, because there will be no more writing to his soulmate.  
  
‘Morning Tsukki!’  
  
Yamaguchi gives him a strange look when he approaches him, probably because he was glaring at his wrist, but Kei starts walking and Yamaguchi doesn’t comment on it.  
  
‘Slept well?’  
  
Yamaguchi laughs sheepily. ‘Sorry about that. I don’t know why I couldn’t sleep.’

But Kei has a feeling he knows why. It’s probably about the only taboo topic between them.  
Which is why he doesn’t press the matter, and Yamaguchi doesn’t either, and they continue their walk to school in silence.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
Thank the stars for lunch break.    
  
Because it’s sunny, Yamaguchi wants to eat their lunch outside.  
‘Even though the temperature is below zero degrees,’ Kei mutters, grabbing his lunch from his bag.  
But Yamaguchi’s waving his lunch box, pointing enthusiastically outside the classroom window, asking, ‘Please, Tsukki?’  
_Well, now I can’t say no anymore, can I?_  
  
But it’s all right when they sit outside and he can lean his shoulder against Yamaguchi’s.  
It’s for warmth, obviously.  
  
‘Someone’s hungry.’  
  
Yamaguchi stops shovelling food in his mouth and looks up, surprised. Then his gaze drops to the half eaten lunch.  
  
‘Oops.’  
  
He laughs, his eyes shut and his smile bright.  
Ugh.  
I’m so in love with you.  
  
Kei squints his eyes. Yamaguchi doesn’t normally devour his food, unless he’s happy or nervous. The or part makes this tricky.  
It could be about something great, but then again.  
Could be the taboo topic.  
Kei decides to let it slide.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
It isn’t until a few days later that he finally has the courage to ask Yamaguchi about it. The Taboo Topic, as he’s calling it now in his mind. Yes, it got capitalized.  
  
Yamaguchi’s room is bright, a little messy and currently littered with pens and paper. They’re studying for an upcoming English test, and they’ve have actually managed to be very productive. Yamaguchi is lounging on the floor, while Kei is revising his notes since he’s better at English. But looking at the notes tells him that their study sessions have been paying off. There isn’t a single mistake.  
Kei picks up his pen and doodles a small dinosaur next to the notes with a speech bubble that says ‘GOOD’.  
Without any further comment, he slides the notebook back.  
When Yamaguchi spots the dinosaur, he grins triumphantly.

‘A-ha! You see this, Tsukki?’ and he points at the dinosaur. Kei looks at his doodle and feels slightly embarrassed, but luckily Yamaguchi continues. ‘This means we get to have a study break!’  
  
And with that he stands up, stretching his arms above his head. His sleeves fall down slightly and Kei sees that his arms are bare, except for the tiny freckles painting his skin.   
  
‘Do you want anything, Tsukki?’

No, Kei thinks, I refuse to be cliché. But in his mind, he’s already snickering.  
  
‘Some tea,’ he says blankly.  
  
It’s stupid.  
He’s trying to talk himself out of this.  
It’s the taboo topic. The Taboo Topic. It’s got capitals. Ergo it doesn’t need to be addressed.  
But Kei feels that he would be a terrible best friend if he doesn’t ask, and besides, his arms were clean, so when Yamaguchi enters the room with two cups of tea and a bag of cookies between his teeth, Kei asks, ‘Did you write to your soulmate?’  
  
Yamaguchi drops, thank the stars, the bag of cookies and not the tea. But the whole construction looks dangerous, with him looking so shocked at Tsukki, that Kei stands up and handles the tea.  
Their hands touch, and Yamaguchi’s are very warm, as they usually are, but Kei doesn’t try to dwindle on the fact.  
  
He’s taken three sips of his tea when Yamaguchi has recovered enough to answer.  
He sits down on the floor with a thump and looks stunned at Tsukki, who levels him with a stare, silently conveying that it’s not Kei who started this whole ordeal.  
  
‘Yes.’  
  
The word is tiny.  
Yamaguchi’s looking at his hands, and there’s a redness blossoming on his cheeks.  
_Obviously_ , it hurts.  
So Kei takes sip number four and says nothing.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
 _It’s like drowning but you just won’t fucking die._  
  
Okay, as he sees the words on his skin, Kei has to admit it’s a little dramatic. Especially since he’s written them on his arm.  
The fact that his handwriting is so messy though, makes it seem a little less angsty.  
  
This, writing on his arm again, was not the plan.  
  
Kei stands up abruptly and walks to the bathroom, scrubbing roughly at his skin in the sink.  
Clean.  
His skin’s a little red, but it’s clean.  
  
He walks back to his room.  
It’s not that terrible, he keeps telling himself.  
But sometimes, when he’s alone in his room, it gets so hard to breathe normally, to keep calm. Because how’s he supposed to keep calm if there’s this _thing_ , this soulmate thing that he can’t control? This huge part of his life that’s just _decided_ by something in the universe and there’s nothing he can do about it.  
Well, he can deny it. By not writing on his skin.  
But he can’t very well force Yamaguchi to do the same.  
  
His hands shake as he rests his head in them. Sitting on the bed, the only light from the stars on his ceiling, Kei tells himself to breathe.  
He notices the pen marks on his arm.

_Urban dictionary, nice._  
  
He laughs. At least his soulmate isn’t unfamiliar with the internet. 

Thanks for that, universe.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh I haven't found a way to change the fonts of their writing, but I'll try and fix that soon!  
> EDIT: I MADE IT WORK (okay no really I asked someone to help me)  
> I'm super curious if you think this story is something I should continue! Please let me know in the comments, or don't, it's all up to you really :)
> 
> Also, in case you're wondering. Yes, it helped a lot, writing this. I could finally sleep again hahah (not kidding tho)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's another chapter! I'm having so much fun writing this, and your lovely comments really helped making me decide to finish this story, so thank you!  
> I hope you enjoy more angst :)

They had the conversation two days before he'd written on his arm.

It was after a good practice match against Nekoma, good meaning Karasuno almost won. Kei had been particularly focused that match, blocking most of Nekoma’s crucial spikes. It had been an amazing feeling.

Afterwards, Kuroo had clapped him on the back, which had been uncalled for _honestly,_ and complimented him on his improvement.  
Kei had tried his best to reign in his smile, but he’d managed to block a lot of Kuroo’s spikes and so he couldn’t really feel any resentment towards the guy.  
  
Then Kuroo had leaned closer to him and said, ‘Man, when you blocked my first spike in the third set, you looked so insanely good. Your soulmate’s lucky.’  
  
In response, Kei had levelled him with an icy stare. ‘That would explain why you’re a shit spiker. You should look at the ball, not my form.’  
  
When he walked back to the team, he saw that Yamaguchi had been watching him, and there was something weird about his gaze.  
It should’ve made him feel on edge, he should've asked, but it had been gone very quickly as Yamaguchi shook his head and congratulated him with a smile.  
The smile always made him pause.  
  
‘I want to write to my soulmate,’ was what Yamaguchi said on the bus back. He was looking out of the window as the city made way for the countryside.  
Kei watched the sun light up the freckles on his cheekbone as he processed the sentence.  
The most obvious question would be ‘why?’. They had talked about this when they were younger, and had both decided to not find out who their soulmate was.  
But Yamaguchi was biting his lip, and his eyes flickered restlessly. All signs that he was nervous.  
  
Kei knew that doubting his best friend would hurt him, so he said,  
‘Okay.’  
  
He knew Yamaguchi was watching him, eyes probably wide from surprise, but Kei refused to look at his best friend.  
That would only make it hurt worse.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
The following morning, Yamaguchi is there before Tsukki.  
Which is, frankly, nearly impossible. Nothing can wake up Yamaguchi before 7 in the morning, and he always has to rush to be at their meeting point on time. Sometimes Kei even has to visit his house to drag his friend out of bed.  
  
But there he is, smile already on his face and a hand raised in greeting.

‘Morning, Tsukki!’  
  
Kei’s footsteps falter.  
_I’m scared to ask why he’s happy._  
  
So he doesn’t.  
  
They talk about volleyball and Pokemon. They don’t talk about writing on your skin, or soulmates.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
_Looking at it positively,_  
_I guess the only love that lasts is unrequited love_

His bed lamp is still on, and the stars on his ceiling give off a soft glow instead of their usual brightness.  
Kei feels the urge to lie face first into his pillow. He doesn’t. It would require moving, turning around and pressing his glasses uncomfortably into his skin.  
Ah, the burden of being blind.  
  
But it allows him to see the first pen marks appear on his skin.  
His heart skips a beat.  
Which it shouldn’t do, and Kei nearly gets irritated about it, but as he lifts his arm and watches the words being written on his skin, he forgets about it.

_I guess if you were really looking at it positively,_

The words stop. But they shouldn’t, because Kei clearly sees a comma there. He frowns.  
Even though some part of him wishes his soulmate wouldn’t write back, he’s cu- it’s weird to not know the end to a sentence. It’s the ultimate dickmove, basically.  
Kei makes a mental note to use this tactique on Hinata more often.

He’s about to give up, because he’s _not_ going to stay awake for his so-called soulmate, when the words continue.

_I guess if you were really looking at it positively,_ _  
you still have me?_

And he’s considering writing back, his hand reaching out to grab the pen, when he freezes. If he writes back now, they’ll have had a conversation. A small one, granted, but one nonetheless.  
  
Kei’s not sure if he’s crossing a line.  
  
_Hamlet act III, scene III, line 87_

When he reaches for the switch of his lamp, there’s already a small note written under his.

_Hamlet act III, scene II, line 230_

  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
It’s during math that Kei thinks about his soulmate for the first time in years.  
  
What if they think I’m a woman?  
  
He shakes his head. That shouldn’t matter, right?  
But it feels weird. Kei doesn’t care what his soul mate looks like or what gender they have, but what if his soulmate has a really clear image in their mind of him… as a  her. Would they mind that he isn’t what they thought he was?  
Probably not. They’re his soulmate, and Kei dislikes people who pay too much attention to exterior.  
But shouldn’t he at least correct them?  
No. That would mean indulging in this ridiculous notion of the universe deciding who you’re supposed to be with.

A few seats away from his, a girl he doesn’t know the name of doodles something small on her wrist. She has a happy smile on her face.  
Kei frowns at her.  
How can she… just be satisfied with what the universe decided for her? Shouldn’t she pay attention to the teacher?  
  
‘Tsukki?’  
  
Yamaguchi’s whisper snaps him out of his confused/frustrated staring and he turns his head towards his best friend.  
Yamaguchi looks puzzled at him, eyebrows raised in a silent question if something’s wrong.  
Kei shakes his head.  
But for a moment, there’s something sad in Yamaguchi’s eyes, and Kei knows that he saw him staring at the girl who was writing to her soulmate.  
Just like Yamaguchi has done. Has been doing.  
  
‘I hope her soulmate is a mathematical genius,’ he whispers, ‘or else she’s going to fail this subject.’  
  
Yamaguchi snickers.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all so much! I'd love to hear your thoughts about this, so feel free to leave a comment <3 They motivate immensely :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Ah, I'm having so much fun writing this fic. I'm so glad I continued !  
> This is an extra long chapter, sooo I hope you enjoy :)

It seems as if there are only arms participating in volleyball practice that Friday. Kei can’t seem to focus on anything else.  
Frustrated, he walks to the sidelines to pick up his water bottle.  
  
Of course Yamaguchi follows him.  
Sweat makes his hair stick slightly to his forehead, and his cheeks are red from exertion.  
Kei thinks he looks perfect.  
  
‘Have you noticed that Kageyama tried to compliment Hinata?’ Yamaguchi giggles. ‘He switched the words around though. He called him perfectly useless.’  
Kei laughs with him. ‘That’s just the truth.’  
Just then Hinata’s head swivels their way, and he looks suspiciously at them.  
‘Are you talking about me?’  
Yamaguchi tries to smother his laughter by hiding his mouth behind his hand.  
‘No, we were talking about-’ Kei starts, and then stops.  
Hinata looks expectantly at him.

After a few seconds, his eyebrows slowly lower.

Yamaguchi snorts loudly behind his hand.

Finally, the descend of Hinata’s eyebrows has ended. It’s a full-on frown now.  
‘You were talking about?’ he yells.  
Kei’s smile becomes devilish. ‘That’s what I said.’  
‘But you didn’t finish your sentence!’  
Hinata starts angrily waving his hands in the air at the same time that Yamaguchi doubles over from laughter.  
‘His face is hilarious,’ he laughs. ‘Nice one, Tsukki.’  
  
He loves making Yamaguchi laugh like that.

      ⋆*☆⋆*

They practice volleyball. They study for school. They have their usual movie nights where, after the second movie, Yamaguchi gets tired and leans his head on Kei’s shoulder, and Kei tentatively puts his arm around him. They fall asleep like that.

They don’t talk about soulmates, and Yamaguchi’s arms never have any writing on them.  
Neither do Kei’s.  
  
But it’s when they’re watching a nature documentary at his place that, for the first time, he sees Yamaguchi looking worryingly at his arm.  
Kei quickly looks back to the screen.  
But.  
He’s a good friend. The best friend. He _has_ to ask what’s wrong.  
‘Is… everything okay?’ he forces himself to say.  
Yamaguchi winces, and it takes a while for him to reply.  
‘I don’t know.’  
Kei keeps staring at the screen.  
‘Do you want to talk about it?’  
But Yamaguchi puts his hand on Kei’s arm and says softly, ‘It’s okay.’  
It’s unexpected, the touching, and Kei blurts out, ‘If your soulmate’s a jerk, don’t bother.’  
At this, Yamaguchi starts giggling.  
‘But Kei, you can be a jerk too.’  
He scoffs. ‘Only to some people.’  
Yamaguchi raises one eyebrow to tell him that was exactly his point, so Kei looks away and shoves him softly with his shoulder.  
With a yawn, Yamaguchi lets his head fall on Kei’s shoulder again. He says fondly, ‘I don’t mind, Tsukki.’  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
_Why am I so afraid to lose you, when you aren’t even  
_   _mine?_

  
Kei stares at the words on his arm.  
This is the first time in years that they’ve written to him first.  
It’s unsettling.  
It’s also an uncomfortable question. Because it’s vulnerable, and honest.  
Kei can appreciate the nerve it must’ve took for his soulmate to write to him.  
Now that he’s thinking back on it, he hasn’t written them for three weeks.  
  
He reaches for the pen on his bedside table.  
  
_I’m a guy._  
  
There.  
Cleared up that misunderstanding.  
The best response to a difficult question: completely evade it.  
No, his mind suddenly tells him, you could’ve simply ignored their message.  
  
_That’s so unrelated to my message. Are you wearing your glasses?_  
  
Kei stares in shock at the words.  
What?  
He’s already writing on his arm before it registers that he’s sharing personal information.

_Obviously. They suggest intelligence._  
  
That’ll probably throw them off the question if he’s, in fact, wearing glasses.

_Ah, so you’re not?_

Okay, he deserved that one.  
  
_Rude._

_Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses._

The short laugh that escapes him is unexpected.  
As is the knowledge that he finds his soulmate funny, and frankly, a little sassy.  
  
Not knowing what to do with this information, he folds up his glasses and has almost dropped them on the table when he sees tiny, new words appear on his skin.  
Technically, he hadn’t put them away yet.

_I’m glad you’re a guy  
_

_Why?_

_Feels right somehow_

  
Kei has to admit that sounds sweet, in a way.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

They’re not really on his mind.  
Not.  
Really.  
But it’s been two weeks and Kei is curious. He still hasn’t fully formed an image of his soulmate in his head, hasn’t really put a face to them, but slowly, little pieces of information are forming this vague being that is his fated partner.  
  
Okay, weird.  
Kei immediately agrees with himself never to refer to them as his fated partner ever again.  
  
‘Tsukki?’  
It’s amazing how fast thoughts disappear when Yamaguchi softly calls out his name, recognizing that Tsukki’s in his own head right now.  
  
His gaze focuses on his best friend, who’s sitting under a tree with a scarf wrapped tightly around his neck, covering part of his face. He’s just finished eating his lunch, is putting it away now, and giving him time to respond.  
  
His heart swells and he suddenly feels terrible for thinking about his soulmate.  
Frowning, he starts to pack away his lunch as well.  
‘We have English next, right? Did you understand the homework?’ he asks.  
Yamaguchi sighs deeply. ‘More or less. I kind of like the way Shakespeare writes, but at the same time it’s just so… extra.’  
Tsukki snorts. ‘I thought you’d like him. Since he wrote all kinds of romantic passages.’  
‘Yes, but,’  Yamaguchi stands up, slinging his backpack over his shoulders, ‘It would be so much easier to simply say it.’  He seems to think for a moment. ‘Or write in Japanese, I guess.’  
They start walking to the classroom together.  
‘So if it’s in Japanese you don’t mind extra long, overly romantic babbling?’  
Yamaguchi giggles. ‘No, I wouldn’t.’  
  
They’ve just reached the classroom when Yamaguchi murmurs, ‘I doubt anyone would mind if it was written for them.’  
  
Kei raises an eyebrow, wanting to ask, but one of their classmates spots Yamaguchi and waves him over. Without looking back, Yamaguchi walks away, and Kei wonders if it’s because he trusts Kei will follow or if his mind is slowly drifting away from him.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
During practice that week, Yamaguchi has an off-day. That’s how everyone else perceives it.  
But not Yamaguchi himself.  
  
Kei can see his friend trying to hold back his tears, angry at himself, frustrated about his inability to get a serve right today.  
He walks towards him, glad for the fact that Yamaguchi was practicing in a corner of the court.  
  
‘You’re having an off-day, it’s nothing to worry about.’  
Yamaguchi’s head snaps up and the first tear falls.  
‘No Tsukki, I’m just terrible at this.’  
Well, that’s… No. Kei’s about to tell him, but Yamaguchi bitterly forces out, ‘I should just stop trying.’  
He shuts his mouth.  
Yamaguchi is staring hard at the ground, fists clenched by his sides, tears silently falling. The air around them has thickened, has become more loaded, and to be honest, it feels a whole lot like the fucking Taboo Topic atmosphere.  
Before he can stop himself, Kei’s eyes flicker to Yamaguchi’s skin.  
Nothing.  
  
This… it so obviously hurts him. Him, his best friend, and if he’s overly honest and cringy, the love of his life.  
  
Kei really _hates_ the universe and its shitty idea of romance.  
  
He wants Yamaguchi to know that he’ll always be there for him, that he won’t end up alone. But if that’s not what Yamaguchi wants, what else can he do?  
Kei feels helpless as he watches his best friend try to compose himself.  
  
‘Yamaguchi,’ he tentatively starts. Big, watery eyes look up at him.  
_I like you so stupidly much._

‘I … think you’re going to be fine,’ he finishes lamely. He can’t. He can’t tell him. He can’t fix his soulmate problem.  
He can’t find the right words.  
But it seems to help, because Yamaguchi smiles through his tears. ‘If you say so, I’ll believe you, Tsukki.’  
Which isn’t solid reasoning. But it’s so sweet that Kei can’t help the smile forming on his face.  
‘Of course.’

      ⋆*☆⋆*

At home, his mother is cooking dinner, the house smelling like vegetables and something egg-y. It’s already dark outside and a few lights in the house are on.  
She asks him how his day was, but he just absentmindedly puts away his shoes and calls out ‘fine’.  
  
He can’t seem to shake the image of Yamaguchi crying. About his jerk of a soulmate apparently.  
_Just like me._  
Because if he’s honest, he’s been a terrible soulmate.  
And yet, somehow they always reply and don’t seem to hold it against him that he’s in love with someone else.  
What if Yamaguchi’s soulmate is in love with someone else? It would explain the hurt and the absence of writing.  
But what if Yamaguchi’s soulmate is someone like him, who isn’t interested in finding out who their soulmate is?  
If he’s honest, thinking about it like that makes him feel bad about his own behaviour. Seeing how it affects Yamaguchi hurt, and he wouldn’t wish it on someone else. Regardless of the absurdity of the universe deciding blablabla.  
  
His feet have taken him to the kitchen, where he opens a drawer and picks up a pen. His mother notices but doesn’t comment, instead starting to hum a little tune that’s been playing on the radio these past few weeks.  
Kei walks to his room.  
  
_I hope the night sky is pretty_  
               _wherever you are._  
  
Then his mother calls him downstairs for dinner, and he feels a blush creeping on his cheeks. Quickly, he pulls his sleeve down to cover the pen marks.  
If his mother notices his awkward attempts to keep his arm hidden, she doesn’t comment. Neither does his father, but that’s mainly because he’s ranting about his favourite annoying colleague.  
  
It’s not that he’s excited to see if they’ve written back, or what they’ve written.  
Kei forces himself to talk with his parents for five minutes longer after dinner, then walks slowly back towards his room.  
See? He’s just casually checking his arm to see if they’ve written back.

_Is this your way of making me look up?_  
  
Kei smiles, even though he tries not to.  
  
_Maybe._

_It might be working_ ✩

The little star next to the message looks very neat, and Kei is impressed. Drawing stars is a skill he hasn’t mastered so far.  
  
_Colour me impressed by your star-drawing skills._  
  
He waits a few minutes for the reply, and when there’s nothing, he puts on his pajamas and brushes his teeth.

Still nothing.  
  
  
It’s when Kei lies down on his bed and reaches over to turn off his light that he sees them.  
Five little stars, drawn on his wrist.

  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all SO much for your sweet comments, they are SUPER motivating <3 I'm working on this pretty hard right now, and I love to hear what you all think :) So thank you for reading and commenting!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewatched the flashback episode from season 2 again for this (it's episode 8 in case you're wondering).   
> Also I'm sorry, it seems there's a bug, because the second note at the end of the latest chapter is the same as the note from the first chapter. I can't seem to get rid of it ? But that's not really a relevant note anymore, so please ignore it!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The room has a lot of brightly coloured paintings and posters on the walls, and chairs are spread throughout the room, with one big chair behind a big table.  
Grown-ups probably feel more important when they sit on bigger chairs.  
  
It took Kei not so long to figure out where he wanted to sit. Anywhere was fine, as long as he didn’t sit way at the front. It would be troublesome if the teacher would ask him all the questions.  
And besides, he would probably be too tall to sit at the front. Better to sit in the back, unnoticed.  
  
This was always Kei’s preference. Not attracting any attention and keeping mostly to himself. And while that didn’t exactly give him many friends, he never felt the need to talk or play with anyone.  
  
Which is why it was so strange that he reacted to those bullies in the playground. Obviously, Kei hated bullies because they teased about appearances, which was dumb. But there was something about the small boy on the ground that told him he needed to do _something_.  
  
The way the boy looked at him afterwards, with large teary eyes full of admiration, made him feel awkward and so he quickly walked away.  
  
They met again, at school.  
And again.  
And, yes, again.  
Before Kei knew what was happening, the small boy introduced himself as Yamaguchi and excitedly told him about his hobbies, which included letting weird hybrid animals fight each other.

The way his eyes lit up when he talked about things he found interesting was cute.  
In return, Kei told him about dinosaurs, and stars.  
  
During one of their project weeks at school, Kei subtly asked his newly acquired friend which project he wanted to do next, and later when the teacher asked, casually chose that one as well.  
It would be the first time they’d work in the same classroom together and Kei was looking forward to it.

Yamaguchi was nice, and easy to talk to.  
  
But when he looked at the blank piece of paper in front of him, Kei had his doubts about his friend.  
‘Why did you choose art?’ he groaned.  
He got no response.

Yamaguchi was staring at his blank paper, deep in thought. Kei nudged him with his shoulder.  
‘Huh? Art?’ Yamaguchi startled. ‘Because it’s something personal!’  
That didn’t make a lot of sense.

Yamaguchi explained, ‘You can make it your own thing, you don’t have to stick to all those difficult rules like with math.’  
But Kei liked all those rules. They gave him more guidelines than this white piece of paper, staring mockingly at him.  
He stared angrily back.  
Next to him, Yamaguchi giggled. ‘I don’t think that’s working, Tsukki.’  
‘I can try.’  
Then, all of a sudden, Yamaguchi put his small hand on the middle of his paper, breaking his stare and forcing Kei to look up.  
‘Think about what you want to draw! What do you like, Tsukki?’  
That wasn’t a difficult question.  
‘Dinosaurs, volleyball, stars and you.’  
Yamaguchi put a finger to his chin in thought, before his eyes suddenly brightened and he ran towards the teacher.  
He returned with a large piece of paper, larger than their two pages combined, and looked at Kei with excited, determined eyes.  
‘Let’s make stars, Tsukki!’  
Something inside Kei clicked.  
  
Together, they hauled large tubes of different shades of blue and black and purple paint. When they had everything they needed, Yamaguchi dropped a big blob of purple paint on the paper.  
‘You do the blue one, Tsukki,’ he directed him.  
When there were three blobs of paint on their white sheet, Yamaguchi grinned enthusiastically.  
‘I did this once with my mother when I was younger. It’s really fun!’ He started rolling up his sleeves and Kei hesitantly copied him.  
‘Now we just put our hands in the paint and mix all the colours. It’ll look really pretty.’  
At this, Kei wrinkled his nose. ‘But we’ll get paint everywhere.’  
There was no reply, and when he looked at his friend, he saw him frowning at the paint in front of them and then looking hesitantly at the art brushes.  
Okay, it was pretty clear that he really wanted to paint like this.  
He sighed. ‘It’s not like the paint can’t come off, right?’  
Yamaguchi smiled brightly.  
  
The paint was everywhere. Everywhere. Their hands, arms, clothes and faces were full of paint streaks and splatters, but Kei had to admit their night sky looked cool.  
Now they had to wait for it to dry before they could paint the stars.  
  
Raising his hands in front of him, Kei watched the paint on his fingers.  
From the corner of his eye, he saw that Yamaguchi was watching him, giggling. ‘Now our soulmates will have blue and purple and black fingers and arms too.’  
Huh, he hadn’t even thought of that. Sure, Kei knew someone was linked to him, but he’d never considered consciously writing on his arm.  
He shrugged.  
Yamaguchi looked curiously at him.

‘Don’t you want to know who your soulmate is?’  
Again, Kei shrugged. ‘Not really.’  
His friend gasped in surprise.  
‘Why not?’  
‘I don’t know why,’ Kei looked uncomfortably at the ground. ‘I don’t feel like I need them,’ he muttered. ‘I mean, I have my parents, my brother, and you.’  
When he looked up again after a few seconds, he saw Yamaguchi was staring at him, a blush on his cheeks. ‘That’s so cool!’ he exclaimed. ‘I’m not interested in my soul mate either!’  
But that wasn’t really… He hadn’t been trying to sound cool.  
‘No,’ he started, ‘I think-’  
But Yamaguchi had walked back to their painting and was patting it with his hands.

‘It’s dry, Tsukki!’  
  
Their brushes made little white dots all over the page.  
Yamaguchi’s tongue was poking out of his mouth when he used a thin brush to connect some of them.  
Kei looked at him.  
Even though he had known him for only half a year, there was something so easy about talking and playing with Yamaguchi that had Kei immediately at ease. Nothing was difficult about their friendship, not like with the other kids who Kei found difficult to talk to.  
  
The thought just popped into his head.

If Yamaguchi was his soulmate, Kei felt that wouldn’t be so bad.  
  
Though he didn’t know a whole lot about soulmates, his brother did explain some things and... if he was honest, it sounded kind of lame.  
Kei liked to choose. He didn’t want to accept something as random as the universe playing matchmaker.  
  
As Kei looked at the frown between Yamaguchi’s brows and the intensity in his eyes, he snickered.  
‘There!’  
His friend leaned back to look at their work triumphantly.  
With all the colourful swirls and white constellations and stars, Kei had to admit it looked amazing.  
‘You were right, it’s super cool.’

Yamaguchi nodded proudly and Kei leaned forward to look at their artwork more closely.

‘All those stars look kind of like your freckles,’ he pointed out, without thinking. He’d forgotten for a second that his friend didn’t like his freckles.  
  
Without saying anything, Yamaguchi picked up the brush again, and Kei was suddenly afraid he was going to erase their art, and all the pretty stars, but as he leaned forward Yamaguchi said, ‘No, wait, it’s not finished.’  
With precision, he drew a moon on the corner of the page.  
Then he looked back at him, smile almost blinding as he said, ‘Now you’re part of our artwork too!’  
  
Kei thought soulmates sounded kind of lame, because he liked to choose.  
But.  
In the room with a lot of brightly coloured paintings and posters on the walls, where chairs were spread throughout the classroom, it felt just like choosing a place to sit.  
Kei didn’t need long to figure out that he wanted Yamaguchi as his soulmate.  
Whatever, universe.

       ⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes I'm scared that what I write is not completely in sync with canon but then I remember I'm writing a soulmate au and that's not really canon either so... But the anxiety is real haha.   
> Again, I love love LOVE you all so much for commenting! I get so excited when I read what you think and it makes me want to write so much more :D   
> Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooo look who's back for the second time this week?  
> I wrote so much that I figured I could post the next chapter sooner than planned.  
> Hope you enjoy!

The five stars on his wrist are gone when Kei wakes up.  
Which isn’t a problem, since it would’ve been awkward to explain anyway.  
But Kei sort of misses them.  
  
When he sees Yamaguchi that morning, on their walk to school, he notices how his eyes look brighter.  
‘Slept well?’ he asks.  
Yamaguchi hums in response.

⋆*☆⋆*

In the locker room, after practice, everyone is goofing off and yelling loudly about their difficult teenage lives.  
Kei sneaks a glance at Yamaguchi’s body. Not the creepy kind, but the ‘I want to know if you’ve written with your soulmate kind’.  
Which probably looks a lot like the creepy kind, Kei thinks, as his eyes stray a bit too long on Yamaguchi’s back.  
_Be real, Kei. He can’t even write there._  
  
Of course Yamaguchi turns around now.  
Somehow Kei manages to sound casual as he asks, ‘Did you finish reading the English assignment?’  
Yamaguchi pulls his shirt over his head, which makes his hair stick out at weird angles and it’s so ridiculously cute that Kei’s almost offended.  
‘I did, sort of, but I still haven’t warmed up to him. How about you, Tsukki?’  
Bending over to put on his shoes so he doesn’t keep staring, Kei murmurs, ‘I can somewhat relate to him.’  
‘What?’ Yamaguchi asks.  
Kei starts tying his shoelaces. ‘He wrote: “the fault is not in our star-’  
‘What?’ Yamaguchi asks again, leaning forward trying to hear him better.  
Why do his teammates have to be so loud and irritating?  
He repeats, ‘The fault is not in our stars-’  
‘Sorry Tsukki, I can’t hear you, their singing is really loud.’  
Kei looks up. ‘The fault is not in our stars, but in… ourselves...’  
Their faces are close.  
Really. Close.  
As in slow-motion, Kei watches Yamaguchi blink slowly. And it feels like he’s holding his breath. Yamaguchi’s eyes flicker from his left eye to his right, holding Kei’s gaze for what feels like decades, but is probably only a few seconds before he leans back a little.  
Kei exhales.  
Yeah, he was definitely holding his breath.  
‘But that’s so pessimistic.’  
While Kei was having a reality check on his crush, Yamaguchi apparently continued to function like a normal person. He’s looking curiously at him.  
Kei shrugs. ‘It means that we can take our lives into our own hands. We don’t have to rely on “fate”...’  
Understanding fills Yamaguchi’s eyes. ‘Or the universe,’ he finishes the sentence.  
Kei nods.  
  
Having both finished changing, they grab their bags and start walking home.  
Their silence isn’t awkward, but Kei can feel it’s contemplative.  
On both sides.  
And he doesn’t know what Yamaguchi’s thinking about, but he can guess it’s about soulmates.  
Because he’s thinking about it too.  
Kei resists the urge to look at his wrist where the five stars had been.  
He doesn’t know why he misses them so much, but seeing those stars on his wrist just felt right. It’s something that’s always been in his life, stars, and they will continue to be there after he isn’t. He’s been fascinated with them for almost all his life.  
He can still remember all those nights, when he’d gotten his first telescope, watching stars with Yamaguchi. Staying up way too late. Eating snacks. Talking about everything and nothing. Looking at the night sky, and thinking all those dots looked like the freckles on Yamaguchi’s cheeks.  
He feels himself beginning to smile.  
It’s what he said when they painted the night sky together.  
  
‘Good day today?’ Yamaguchi asks softly.  
  
Kei makes a nondescript sound and looks at his friend.  
Yamaguchi smiles at him, and so Kei returns, ‘Good day today?’  
‘Mm, I like just walking. No need to talk or anything.’  
At this, Kei hums in response. He does too.  
‘You know,’ Yamaguchi slowly starts, ‘Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake and your knees go weak, that’s not the one. They say when you meet your soulmate, you’ll feel calm. No anxieties.’  
  
Away from their yelling teammates, in the quiet outskirts of town, Kei closes his eyes for a few seconds. The air smells crisp and clean, it being a clear winter day. He can feel Yamaguchi bump into him every so often.  
He’s warm when the air’s cold.  
  
Kei breathes in. And out.  
Tries to understand that the universe really picked the perfect person for everyone.  
But he can’t.  
He can’t understand how there could be anyone he’d ever feel more calm with than Yamaguchi.  
  
He can’t understand how anyone other than Yamaguchi could be his soul mate.  
  
Kei breathes in. And out.  
  
‘That sounds nice,’ he replies.  
  
⋆*☆⋆*  
  
_What’s that thing called_  
_where your crush likes you back?_  
  
Kei scoffs as he sees there isn’t really any space left on his right arm to write the answer, so he opens his palm and clumsily writes,  
  
_Oh yes, your imagination._  
  
He closes his fist.  
The answer disappears, making his question seem hopeful. Why is it that when he’s writing to this other person, he’s always so melodramatic?  
Must be because he only writes when his hormonal teenage body gives him an extra shot of angst and self-pity.

 _Maybe it’s better if you went to sleep_ _  
_

Wow. Kei feels offended.  
  
_You’re saying I’m not entertaining?_  
  
He scribbles the words on the other side of his left arm, taking care to write smaller.  
It takes a few minutes for his so-, for them to reply, so Kei picks up his phone to look at the time. Okay, fair point, it is nearly ten.  
He should get ready for bed or something.  
Then a small screen pops up on his phone, telling him he’s received a message from Yamaguchi.  
  
[from: Yama]

whatr u doing tsukki?  
  
_Writing to my so-called soulmate_ , is what he’s supposed to say. But let’s be real.  
  
[to: Yama]  
Nothing much. Why?  
  
When he drops his phone beside him, he sees that they’ve written back.  
It’s a long answer.

 _I’ve been in love with the idea of you for all my life, and I’m sure you’re a wonderful person_ _  
_ _but maybe it’s time you start acting like one_

What.

Kei’s speechless.  
Thank the stars that his mobile flashes just then, indicating that he’s received another message.  
  
[from: Yama]  
want to hang out?

His gaze flickers between his arm and his mobile phone.  
It’s not weird for them to hang out this late. Usually Yamaguchi comes over to his house and normally, Kei would love to spend more time with Yamaguchi... but.  
But.  
He looks at his arm.  
He squints at the words.  
_but maybe it’s time you start acting like one_  
  
If Yamaguchi comes over, he’ll see the marks on his arm. He can try and cover them up with a long-sleeved sweater, but that’s not a foolproof plan.  
Kei sighs.  
He-  He can’t believe what’s he’s going to do now.  
  
[to: Yama]  
No, sorry. I think I’m going to call it an early night.  
  
That’s it.  
He’s officially the worst best friend ever.  
He has just blown Yamaguchi off because of his irritated soulmate.  
  
With a frown on his face he searches for some free space on his arm and he writes back.  
  
_Okay. Fair point. What do you propose I do?_

  
⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!  
> Comments, thoughts and feels are very much appreciated <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo my internship in Ireland has just started, and so far I'm still adjusting to living here... Luckily I wrote a lot before leaving so I'll be able to update regularly. I hope you don't mind me updating once or twice a week!  
> That being said, enjoy :D

When Kei wakes up the next morning, he lifts both of his arms.  
They’re still full of writing.  
Crap.  
  
It’s then that the smell of butter and eggs fills his nose, and Kei remembers.  
Saturday.  
Pancakes.  
  
So it’s arguably less awkward if his parents see that he’s written with his soulmate, but still he searches through his wardrobe for a hoodie that’ll cover his arms. Before he pulls it over his head, he looks at his right arm.  


_You keep writing about this person you’re in love with, but you don’t seem to do anything about it and you’re also not giving me a chance. The way I see it, you’re not moving forward and you’re not moving backwards, you’re not moving at all.  
_

  
It sucks, being put in his place by this person. Especially since Kei knows nothing about them, and frankly, they know nothing about him except his gender and the state of his eyesight, so when you look at it like that _they’ve_ been really rude.  
And sort of right.  
Though it’s something he’s always done, complain about a situation but then do nothing, Kei knows it’s wrong.  
He looks at his own reply.  
  
_But which direction is forward?_  


_Probably the one where you make a choice and do something._

  
Yeah, just doing something has never been Kei’s strong suit. He normally only acts when he’s certain of the results or after he’s given it a decent amount of thought.

So, he needs to start by making a choice. The way he sees it, he basically has to choose between telling Yamaguchi how he feels or focus on his own soulmate and ignore his feelings.  
That’s a sucky choice.  
Kei’s sure he hasn’t got the guts to tell Yamaguchi how he feels about him, especially since Yamaguchi is currently writing with his soulmate. It would be sort of mean, to intercept. It would give his friend the idea that Kei doesn’t want him to be happy with his soulmate and/or that he doesn’t support him in his choice.  
  
With a sigh, Kei puts on his hoodie.  
Hurting Yamaguchi in any way is the one thing he wants to avoid.  
  
But focusing on his soulmate?  
  
His feet drag him down the stairs, even though the smell of pancakes is rather motivating.  
  
All his life he’s been resisting the notion of soulmates, rejecting the universe’s ridiculous claim to know what’s best for him.  
But.  
But if it’s for Yamaguchi.  
If it’ll make Yamaguchi happy, then Kei guesses it’s something he can do.  
Besides, it will probably make _them_  happy too.  
  
His mother greets him when he enters the kitchen. He mumbles something which sounds like ‘goodmorning’ and opens the kitchen drawer in search of a pen.  
His mother starts humming a cheerful tune.  
Found it.  
  
Kei rolls up the sleeve of his left arm and in the crease of his elbow writes  
_Are you a boy or a girl?_  
_or other_  
  
It’s when he reaches for the sugar at the table, a few pancakes later, that his mother smiles at him.  
‘Kei,’ she calls out, and points to his left hand. ‘Your thumb.’  
In a tiny scribble, Kei can see the words form on his skin.

_A boy, Professor Oak._  


  
The relief that Kei feels is weird.  
As is the way his breath leaves his body in a rush.  
Pokémon.  
Staring at the words in disbelief, he allows himself for one small second to entertain the notion that Yamaguchi could be his soulmate.  
But then, every kid and their mother from his generation grew up with Pokémon. It’s not that weird.  
  
Just then, his father notices his hands. And arms probably.  
‘Wait,’ he says, ‘I thought you hated soulmates?’  
  
Kei groans.  
‘Yeah well,’ he sighs, looking at the messy scribbles and the heated messages across his skin and finding the tiny, neatly drawn star near his pink.  ‘How could I hate the stars?’  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
They have volleyball practice, as per usual, and Kei uses their warm-up exercises to think about what he’s going to do next. If he wants to start a sort of guess game with them- him, his mind corrects. Because now he knows his soulmate is a guy.  
Wow.  
  
‘I’m officially gay,’ he says.  
Beside him, Yamaguchi trips and almost falls.  
‘What?’ His voice sounds higher than usual.  
Kei stretches his arms above his head.  
‘My soulmate is a guy.’  
  
The confession hangs between them.  
He’s almost scared to look at his friend, knowing what he’s just admitted to.  
Yamaguchi quiet voice breaks the silence.  
‘So’s mine.’  
Kei’s heart clenches, but he ignores it.  
‘Isn’t it great that we don’t have to figure out our sexual identities,’ he replies sarcastically.  
But Yamaguchi doesn’t respond, instead he asks, in the same quiet voice, ‘You’ve written to your soulmate?’    
He sounds hurt.  
Kei turns to his friend, nonchalantly cleaning his glasses.  
‘I figured I should, after you did.’  
In the brief moment that he allows himself to look at Yamaguchi, he sees the shock and, yes, that’s definitely hurt on his face.  
‘I should’ve told you sooner,’ he mumbles, feeling a little guilty.  
He puts his glasses back on.  
‘When?’  
Yamaguchi’s looking at him, their warming-up exercises forgotten.  
_Since I’ve been pathetically hurt about your decision months ago,_ is what he should say if he’s being honest. But that sounds desperate, and is way too telling.  
‘I don’t know, a few weeks ago or something?’ Kei lies smoothly.  
He can still feel Yamaguchi’s stare on his face, so he looks at him fully this time. But what he’s seeing doesn’t make sense.  
Shoulders dropping, Yamaguchi stares unbelievingly at him.  
Tears well in his eyes.  
‘What?’ Kei asks, unnerved by the loaded gaze. ‘Did you think I was your soulmate?’ he laughs jokingly, trying to break the awkward tension in the air.  
Yamaguchi sucks in a breath.  
He’s not laughing.

He’s not laughing and Kei panics. _What? Had he… had he been right?_  
Then Yamaguchi exhales, and wipes quickly at his eyes.  
‘N-nice one, Tsukki.’  
He lets out a weak chuckle and without another word, sparing Kei the need to answer, turns to join Hinata, Nishinoya and Asahi in their jog around the gym.  
  
‘I don’t think that was nice of you, Tsukishima.’  
Kei jumps, and turns to look at Sugawara, who’s apparently standing next to him. Sugawara’s eyes don’t look unkind, but they feel sort of reprimanding anyway.

‘It was a joke,’ he retorts defensively.  
Sugawara shrugs and turns away, ‘And yet no one was laughing.’  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
[to: Yama]  
Want to hang out tonight?  
  
He sent the message an hour ago. No reply. With a groan, Kei turns on his bed and stares at the plastic, glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. He lifts his empty arms. It’s hard for him to remember to write to his soulmate when his mind is often preoccupied with Yamaguchi.  
_You’re just not trying hard enough_ , he chastises himself.  
But it’s such a struggle. His heart keeps stubbornly telling him that he’s chosen Yamaguchi all those years ago, and it’s not ready to open itself for another.  
Kei lets his arms fall on his face.  
They knock his glasses of his nose, and his left arm nearly pokes out his eye.  
He feels stupid.  
  
Then his phone buzzes.  
  
[from: Yama]  
sure on m way  
  
He sits up quickly. Remembers to put his glasses back on. Cleans his room, and by cleaning, he’s really only putting away his bag and the shirt he wore to bed yesterday. His room is never truly messy.  
But he’s feeling nervous and jittery and he needs to do something.  
  
‘Kei!’ his mother yells from downstairs, ‘Tadashi is here!’

  
He hears his mother ushering Yamaguchi inside, asking him about school, volleyball, his parents. The soft sound of Yamaguchi’s voice carries upstairs and it feels so familiar, Yamaguchi coming over in the evening and being bombarded by questions from his mother, that the anxiety from earlier quiets down.  
So when Kei walks down the stairs and sees his friend already walking towards him, they both pause, and Kei grins.  
‘It’s a full moon tonight.’  
Yamaguchi’s answering grin is big. ‘Bad werewolf movies and moon gazing?’  
Kei nods.  
And just like that, everything’s put behind them.  
It’s normal, and easy, and fun.  
And when Yamaguchi falls asleep on his shoulder during the second movie, Kei really forces himself to reconsider putting his arms around him.  
After ten minutes, he gives up. They fall asleep like that.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
It’s still night when Kei wakes up.

He’s lying on his back with Yamaguchi draped across his chest, snuggly held there by Kei’s arms.  
It’s not uncomfortable, though Yamaguchi is fairly warm and Kei’s still wearing his pale blue moon sweater.  
  
Performing an awkward sideways shuffle, Kei manages to untangle himself. He walks towards the window and opens it.  
The light of the full moon is bright, and beautiful.  
Leaning his head on his hand, he stares at the night sky.  
  
Kei’s fairly sure he must’ve dozed a bit, because when Yamaguchi joins him at the window, he startles.  
Yamaguchi giggles.  
He’s wearing his pale-yellow star sweater, the matching pair to Tsukki’s. It had been an endearing gift from his mother, who thought it looked cute if they matched when they looked at the stars. Yamaguchi had loved it. Kei secretly had too.  
  
Not saying anything, they stare outside, looking at the tiny twinkling lights that fill the night sky.  
  
‘What’s your soulmate like?’ Yamaguchi asks, and Kei thinks he’s always been the braver one, even if Yamaguchi doesn’t think so.  
He says the first thing that pops into his mind.  
‘He’s sassy.’  
Yamaguchi lets out a short laugh. ‘Then he suits you, Tsukki.’  
Kei humphs indignantly.  
‘And yours?’  
‘Ahh, he’s a piece of work.’  
The sigh with which Yamaguchi says this makes him snort.  
Also.  
‘He still doesn’t sound nice.’  
‘No,’ Yamaguchi looks at Kei for a moment, who looks back questioningly. ‘No, he doesn’t. But I understand why he’s the way he is.’  
He searches Yamaguchi’s face for emotions like sadness or regret. But there’s just openness and understanding. As usual.  
  
Kei turns around, walking back towards the bed.  
‘Let’s go back to sleep.’  
  
They’re lying side by side this time. Kei puts his glasses on the bedside table and turns off the light.  
When he rolls back, he finds Yamaguchi lying very close to him, facing him.  
He isn’t sure whether he’s supposed to shuffle backwards, or not.  
He doesn’t want to, that’s for sure.  
Big brown eyes are staring into his narrowed blue ones.  
_How can he see, when it’s this dark?_ Kei questions, before he notices the soft glow illuminating Yamaguchi.  
Ah, the stars on his ceiling.  
‘Can you see me, Tsukki?’ Yamaguchi whispers, giggling.  
He squints. ‘Are you making fun of my eyesight again, you privileged person?’  
Yamaguchi gasps in shock, ‘I would _never_ make fun of you.’  
‘We both know that’s a lie.’  
His friend giggles again.  
‘I would _never_ lie to you, Tsukki.’  
Kei sighs. ‘That’s also a lie. Every year you lie about not buying me a birthday present.’

There’s a soft smile on Yamaguchi’s face. The glow of the stars makes his eyes light up in a mesmerizing way.  
‘I would _never_ let anyone take your place,’ he whispers.  
Kei swallows.  
‘I didn’t know we were playing two lies, one truth,’ he says hoarsely.  
Yamaguchi laughs and bumps his nose against his.  
‘Goodnight, Tsukki.’  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to quickly mention that Kei being relieved at his soulmate being a boy has nothing to do with him hating other genders or anything! (he just gayyy)  
> Also, the Professor Oak joke is not really mine, I read this beautiful TsukkiYama fanfic and it featured the joke and it was just too good to pass up on. It's called 'These Words You Don't Hear' (http://archiveofourown.org/works/8363374/chapters/19157851), I really recommend it!
> 
> THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING, it means the world to me! It's just ahsdjfk I enjoy reading your thoughts and comments SO much <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers ♡ HELP ME my internship in Ireland starts tomorrow and I'm afraid I will forget every English word.   
> On the other hand, I'm sooo excited about where this fanfic is going, and I hope you are too !  
> Enjoy :)

Their teacher drones on and on about world war one, and frankly, Kei can’t be bothered. He read the chapter yesterday.  
  
A few birds sing outside, hopping from branch to branch, catching Kei’s attention for a while.  
The weather’s been getting milder.  
  
Then his eyes drift to Yamaguchi, who sits near the front of the classroom, avidly taking notes. Yamaguchi’s good at history, which is why he works so hard to maintain his grade.  
  
Ugh, he should probably take some notes too, even though he already did them yesterday.  
  
Kei turns the pages of his neat notebook and picks up his pen. That’s when he notices the blue lines appearing on his ring finger.  
At first they appear to be random, crisscrossing lines but then they connect and form a perfect, little star.  
  
He’s never written to him during the day.  
  
Though the star is tiny enough to be inconspicuous, Kei frowns at his finger.  
  
Then he writes back, in the tiniest scribble ever, on his left arm near the bend so his sleeve will cover it up nicely.  
  
_It’s not even night_  
  
In front of the classroom a loud thump sounds, followed by the clatter of pencils.  
  
Kei looks up and sees Yamaguchi, red faced, picking up the spilled contents of his pencil case.  
‘Sorry, Yamaguchi!’ says the guy in front of him, turning. ‘I sat back too far.’  
The teacher immediately shushes them and Yamaguchi apologetically waves his hands to convey that it’s alright.  
  
And so the boredom continues.  
Curious, and only because he has nothing else to do, Kei watches his left hand, waiting for the reply. He hopes it’ll appear on a less obvious place than his hand.  
Bending his finger, he looks at the tiny star in the light. It’s so flawless. There must be some sort of technique for it.

_sometimes you’ve got to make your own stars!_

Riiiight.  
That’s scientifically impossible, of course.  
But Kei understands what he means.  
Relieved, he quickly pulls his sleeve over the words on his arm.  
  
Finally, the bell, signaling the end of class.  
Kei takes one look at the weather and knows Yamaguchi wants to eat lunch outside, so he’s already packing his backpack when Yamaguchi runs towards him.  
‘Going to the toilet first, Tsukki, be right back!’  
With a nod, Kei waits patiently.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
_You’re a Japanese boy_

_eh yes?  
_

_I’m a Japanese boy_

_is this a song?  
_

_No, I’m establishing what we know about each other._

_you like stars_  
_and you’re blind_

_Don’t be stupid. If I was blind, I couldn’t read your messages._

_I meant you wear glasses  
_

_Exactly what I thought. You know more about me than I about you._

_What do you want to know?  
_

Kei pauses. Stares into nothingness for a few seconds. What _does_ he want to know? His name? No. That feels too… much?  
Absentmindedly, he lets himself drop down on his bed.  
His left arm isn’t fully covered in ink yet, because now that they’re writing more, they’ve started to write smaller. It’s probably why other people’s messages aren’t really visible on their arms.  
Other people being people who’ve written to their soulmate for a long time.  
Not like them.  
But... They’re learning.  
Kei settles on his question.  
  
_Why haven’t you written to me?_  


_I was expecting something more like ‘what’s your favourite word?’_  


_Your favourite word? That question isn’t less weird._  
  
_okay, you’ve got a point._

There’s no immediate answer.  
In fact, the following pause is so long that Kei gets up to get something to drink.  
Downstairs, his mother’s nowhere to be seen, and Kei sighs in relief. Lately, she’s been humming and smiling secretively whenever he’s around, casting pointed looks at his arms when they’re full of writing.  


_Don’t laugh but I guess I thought someone else was my soulmate. I... was in love with them.  
_

Kei laughs.  
Oh, that’s just wonderful.  
  
_So how did that feel?_  


_ugh shut up, you know it sucks_

Kei’s still grinning to himself when he turns back towards the staircase.  
He bumps into his brother.  
‘What’s got you so happy?’ Akiteru asks, taking a step back and looking at him in suspicion. ‘Are you teasing your soulmate?’  
Kei’s head snaps up. ‘What?’  
His brother gestures to his arm and the pen in his hand.  
Right.  
Trying to evade the conversation, Kei mumbles something intelligible and asks, ‘What are you doing home?’  
‘Wow, am I not wanted?’  
His brother clutches his heart. ‘So savage Kei.’  
But Kei pays him no mind, walking past him and towards freedom. Still he can’t help but call out over his shoulder, ‘Better savage than average.’  
‘Man, I hope your soulmate’s prepared to deal with your sass or else he’ll be burned alive just like me,’ his brother whines.  
That has Kei turning around.  
‘How do you know he’s a guy?’ he asks sharply.  
Confusion’s written on his brother’s face.  
‘Eh… well…’  
He looks to Kei’s arms again and then back at his face.  
‘I don’t know, I just always assumed? It fits, I guess,’ he explains hesitantly. Probably unsure whether he’s offended Kei.  
Except it’s not an explanation. At all.  
Kei rolls his eyes.  
‘Right.’  
He heads upstairs.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
It’s during practice that Kei remembers, which is, honestly, extremely unfortunate timing.  
The fact that his hands are itching with the need to get a pen and write is unsettling though. And irritating.  
Kei mentally slaps himself, but as a result he jumps a few seconds too late for a block, and though nobody calls him o-  
‘KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, TSUKISHIMA!’ Hinata yells at him from the other side of the net.  
‘What? You’ve been watching High School Musical, shorty?’ he retorts.  
Tanaka snickers, and the game continues.  
  
During the break, everyone grabs something to drink from their bags.  
Kei’s just opened his bag, when.  
‘Everything okay, Tsukki?’  
Of course Yamaguchi noticed.  
Kei feels a pang of guilt.  
‘Is it so weird that I’m not one hundred per cent focused all the time?’ he snaps.  
Yamaguchi takes a step back, holding up his hands.  
‘No no, sorry, just checking, Tsukki.’

What’s wrong with him?  
But Kei knows he’s irritated at himself for wanting to write to his soulmate.  
  
He takes a few gulps of water and turns to his friend.  
‘I’m still stuck on my physics project,’ he explains, which is partly true. He hasn’t figured out how he’s going to tackle his project.  
Yamaguchi watches him for a few seconds, and Kei’s not sure he believes his half-truth, but then Yamaguchi nods.  
‘If you need help, just ask me, okay? Physics I actually understand.’  
Putting his water bottle away, because the team’s taking position again at the net, Kei smiles.  
‘So no gentle night for you?’  
Yamaguchi looks confused.  
‘What?’  
Kei grins, and closes his eyes dramatically.  
‘Give me my Romeo, and when I shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine… That all will be in love with the night.’  
When he opens his eyes, he finds Yamaguchi staring at him in amazement.  
His cheeks grow hot.  
_Very cool, Kei_.  
Fidgeting under the awestruck gaze, he almost turns to escape that look, but then his friend lets out a sigh.  
‘That was somehow very romantic, Tsukki.’  
_Romantic?_  
Now he definitely turns around, bending over to search for something in his bag, trying to hide his red face.  
What on earth does he say to that?  
Why on earth did he memorize those lines?  
Okay, it was part of their homework assignment, but still.  
  
‘What are you looking for, Tsukki?’  
  
_My dignity_ , he thinks, and opens his mouth to answer but before he can, Hinata shouts across the gym.  
‘GET BACK ON THE COURT TSUKISHIMA.’  
  
The word glad and Hinata aren’t often uttered together in his mind, but right now, he’s glad Hinata said something and spared him from having to answer.  
‘Let’s practice,’ he says shortly, and walks past Yamaguchi, who giggles at something Kei doesn’t really want to know.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
_What is your favourite word?_  
  
Nobody is at home, so Kei’s sitting in the living room on the couch. The T.V. is on, showing a documentary about some penguin species. He usually prefers the background noises of animals or nature, but…  
Kei glances irritably at the T.V.  
These penguins are making a lot of high pitched noises.  


_you were right, it’s a difficult question but  
I think it’s the moon _ _☽_

Even the screeches of the penguins are drowned out by the sudden loud beating of Kei’s heart.  
It can’t be.  
He can’t know… can he?  
A wry laugh escapes his mouth.  
‘I guess this is what they call fate, isn’t it?’  he mumbles.  
Because his name means the moon.  
And his supposed soulmate doesn’t know his name yet.  


_and yours?_

_I don’t have a favourite word._  


_That’s boring  
_

_Shut up._  
_I can’t think like this._  


_now you’re being unreasonable, I’m not even talking to you  
_

_It’s these penguins, they screech so loud._  
  
Kei reaches for the remote and turns down the volume. He watches the penguins on the screen swing their head from side to side, beaks opening and closing. Thank the stars he can’t hear them anymore.

_wait the macaroni penguins?  
_

A quick google image search tells Kei that he is in fact watching a documentary about Macaroni Penguins.  
But how does _he_ know?  
  
_Yes_  
  
Kei’s anxiously watching the words appear on his skin.

_Oh, I’m watching that documentary right now too_

  
And it’s weird.  
It’s _so_ weird.  
How it feels sort of exhilarating, knowing he’s watching the same thing as him, right now, at this very moment.  
A shudder travels through his body.  Kei feels like... they’re sort of connected now.  
As if being connected through your very body isn’t enough.  
But it’s different, and Kei suddenly dislikes not knowing his name. Which is a thought he hasn’t had before, and it scares him.  
  
When he looks at the words on his arm again, he sees his soulmate has written something underneath the previous message.  


_they’re making noise and those movements because they get excited when they see each other  
it’s how they show their love_

_Don’t expect me to react like that._  
  
As a response, his soulmate draws a tiny circle, then two dots and a rounded line.  
A smiley face.  
  
☺

_as long as you don’t run away, I’m fine with any reaction when you see me_

Kei sucks in a deep breath.  
Releases it.  
‘when’  
Did their contact somehow convince his soulmate that he wants to meet him?  
  
Does he want to meet him?  
  
Kei feels like his answer should be no, but as he watches those ridiculous penguins swing their heads around, knowing he’s watching them too, he’s not so sure anymore.  
  
Someone who willingly watches nature documentaries about something as stupid as Macaroni penguins can’t be all _that_ bad.  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next time on 'i hope the night sky is pretty wherever you are' : angst
> 
> THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT AND COMMENTS, I swear without you I wouldn't have gotten this far <3 Your lovely comments give me so much motivation :D Thank you again!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so sorry the past couple of days just flew by! Waking up before 7 am every morning is a bit tough, and it results in me being so tired at the end of the day that I haven't written anything for this fic the last few days. I'm sad about that so I'll try and catch up this weekend. Because I'm just at one of the good parts heh  
> Enjoy!

As per usual, after practice, everyone releases their inner moron.  
Kei shakes his head as he watches his teammates flail around, singing loudly.  
It’s probably for the best they decided to pursue a _physical_ sport.  
  
Beside him, Yamaguchi giggles.  
Kei turns to him to comment about it, but Yamaguchi’s just pulling his shirt over his head, and really? Again? What’s with his impeccably, horrible timing?  
Because it’s kind of torturous for Kei to see all those tiny splashes of freckles on his back and know that he can’t discover the hidden constellations because he’ll never see them long enough.  
_Getting a bit gay there, Kei_.  
  
‘They look just like penguins,’ Yamaguchi whispers, laughing.  
Surprised by the sudden requirement of social interaction, and okay, really, he was still staring, Kei unthinkingly says, ‘Like Macaroni Penguins.’  
Yamaguchi turns around, having finished buttoning his uniform, and looks strangely at him. Kei opens his mouth to explain, but Yamaguchi interrupts him.  
‘Did you watch the documentary on T.V. yesterday?’  
Nodding absentmindedly, Kei stands up and walks towards the exit of this madhouse.  
  
Outside, Kei refuses to let himself think how much of a coincidence it is that they both watched the documentary yesterday. Though he knows Yamaguchi likes them too. It’s one of the reasons they watch documentaries together so often.  
  
Yamaguchi catches up to him.  
  
‘Did you know-’ he starts, but then stops.  
Turning his head, Kei lifts an eyebrow questioningly. Yamaguchi isn’t looking at him however, instead he’s looking at the ground and rubbing his neck.  
A tiny blush spreads across his cheeks. It looks adorable.

‘Tadashi?’ Kei presses softly, and he doesn’t know why he uses his name now, but when Yamaguchi’s blush increases, it feels like the right choice.  
  
Yamaguchi bites his lip.  
‘Did you know that Macaroni penguins mate for life?’  
Ah.  
The irony.  
‘No, I didn’t,’ Kei replies.  
  
  
       ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
It’s with a gasp that Kei wakes up at night.  
Sweating, he throws the blankets off.  
He’s hard.  
  
He doesn’t have them a lot, but sometimes his dreams turn feverishly, his mind betraying how much he wants his gaze to linger, how much he wants his hands to touch, how much he wants,  
he wants,  
he wants.  
  
And can’t have.  
  
Something wet slowly rolls down his cheeks.  
  
He can’t be bothered to wipe his tears away.  
  
Turning on his stomach, he presses his face into the pillow, nearly smothering himself.  
Perhaps if he’ll stay like this, he’ll smother his feelings too.  
  
He doesn’t want to inconvenience Yamaguchi.  
If Yamaguchi wants to connect with his soulmate, then he should, without Kei troubling him with feelings that are… _meaningless._  
Because the universe made them so.  
It made them perfect for others, and in doing so, made Kei’s feelings mean nothing.  
  
It feels lonely.  
  
His body begins to shake and he couldn’t hold the tears in anyway, so he lets the sobs wreck his body. Presses his face harder into the pillow.  
Stupid.  
He’s so stupid.  
  
And then there’s no more air left.  
  
His hands fist the blankets.  
  
Reluctantly, Kei lifts up his head. He’s gasping loudly for air.  
  
The glow of the stars on his ceiling show him the wet patch on his pillow.  
Not wanting to lie back in that, Kei dazedly reaches for the lamp next to his bed but his hand brushes something else.  
His fingers automatically close around it. As soon as he’s grabbed it, he knows what it is.  
A pen.

On shaky arms, Kei pushes himself in a sitting position.  
It’s difficult to see through his tears, so he doesn’t try, just holds out his left arm and writes.  
  
_I wish you could convince me_  
  
Seeing as it’s three o’clock at night, there’s no reply.  
  
But that was exactly what he expected.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
It usually takes about a day for Kei to recover from a panic attack.  
  
As he eats his breakfast the next morning, his mother gently places a cup of tea in front of him. The wafts of steam rising from the cup smell like strawberries.  
How she always knows when he’s had them, the attacks, Kei doesn’t know, but he guesses it’s part of his mother’s attentive and observant nature.  
Though it doesn’t take away the uneasiness, the tea soothes a bit of his unrest.  
  
An embarrassingly depressing song blares through his headphones. It would probably be better to listen to something cheerful, but it’s become a ritual that the next day, Kei acknowledges his emotions and indulges in them a little.    
Because it’s okay to feel down.  
Doesn’t make it a nice feeling though.  
  
He sighs deeply.  
He can’t see his breath cloud in front of him anymore, the weather finally milder in the mornings. A few birds fly past him and settle in the trees overhead.  
Kei tilts his head and watches the blue sky and the drifting clouds.  
  
The morning went by in a blur.  
Methodically dressing himself, avoiding looking in the mirror because he probably looked a little like death. The strawberry tea at breakfast, then his feet automatically walking towards the meet-up spot.  
  
Yamaguchi.  
Kei blinks, his mind catching up to the present.  
Yamaguchi’s in front of him.  
He was so lost in thought, the music cutting him off from the world, that he didn’t hear his friend arrive.

Reluctantly, Kei reaches for his headphones to put them away, but Yamaguchi stops him.

His hand is warm around his wrist as Yamaguchi smiles and shakes his head.  
  
As they start walking, Kei sighs in relief.  
This enables him to drown out the world for just a little longer.  
He always feels guilty on the mornings when he keeps his headphones on, and he always intends to put them away.  
But Yamaguchi always stops him.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
It’s positively warm that day.  
They sit outside again, because Yamaguchi, but Kei doesn’t mind. Being outside is better than being surrounded by noisy classmates.  
  
Yamaguchi’s lying on the grass with his eyes closed, enjoying the sun. The wind ruffles his hair, plays with a few dark brown strands.  
Kei lets out a long, slow breath.  
If only they could stay like this for the whole day.  
  
‘Hey, it’s Yamaguchi! Oh, and Tsukishima!’  
Kei’s eyebrow twitches and his body tenses again.  
Neither Yamaguchi nor he react.  
But Hinata doesn’t understand the concept of reading a situation, so he plops down beside Yamaguchi on the grass with Kageyama following behind him, also sitting down.  
He glares at Kei, who returns the favour.  
‘The weather is so nice!’ Hinata half yells, spreading out his arms.  
Kei winches.  
Why is he so loud?  
‘Yeah,’ Yamaguchi agrees. ‘It’s great to be outside and listen to all the birds again.’

‘The birds?’  
Putting a finger to his lips, Yamaguchi nods.  
There’s blissful silence as Hinata shuts his mouth and strains to hear the birds sing.  
Kei knows this because Hinata’s face scrunches in concentration while listening.  
  
When he looks at Yamaguchi, he’s smiling at him. Kei closes his eyes briefly, then gives Yamaguchi a small smile in return. _Thanks_ , is what the smile says.  
  
Because the sun is now really burning down on him, Kei uneasily unbuttons the first few buttons of his school uniform.  
Beside him, Kageyama leans forward, squinting at Kei’s now exposed collarbone.  
‘What?’ he retorts. ‘Stop looking like it’s scandalous, we’re not in the Victorian era anymore.’  
But Kageyama shakes his head and points at his collarbone. ‘What’s that?’  
_My bone structure,_ he wants to answer but refrains, curious about what’s got him staring.  
Kei tries to look down, but he can’t see it.  
‘It looks like…’ Kageyama tries to use his words, but it’s obviously too difficult. Scoffing, Kei stands up, walking to the bathroom to take a look in the mirror.  
‘Stars,’ Kageyama finishes.  
The others do not hear him however.  
  
Luckily there’s no one in the bathroom.  
Standing in front of the mirror, he cranes he neck so he can take a better look.  
  
In black ink, on his collarbone, is a tiny star.  
  
He frowns and pushes the fabric of his uniform further to the side.  
Next to the tiny star is another.  
And another.  
Kei gasps and quickly unbuttons his uniform’s jacket.  
Wide eyed, he looks at his skin briefly before he frantically shrugs off his white blouse without another thought.  
  
Hundreds of tiny, tiny stars.  
  
They begin in the crook of his left elbow, and travel all the way over his upper arm, his shoulder and his collarbone.  
  
They’re beautiful.  
  
Kei chokes back a sob.  
With a shaky hand, he touches the lonely star over his heart. It’s further away from the rest, but it’s also bigger and more elegantly drawn.  
Less like a precise formation of lines, more like a sketch.  
He feels his heartbeat underneath his fingertips.  
  
How could he have missed this?  
Kei releases a shaky breath.  
  
He doesn’t have a pen.  
  
He needs- , he wants to… he should thank him.  
  
Dazed, he puts his uniform on again and walks back.  
There’s a pen in his bag.  
  
Kageyama, Hinata and Yamaguchi all look up as he approaches them.  
Of course, Yamaguchi notices.  
‘Everything alright?’ he asks tentatively.  
Kei doesn’t respond, instead starts rummaging through his bag in search of his pencil case.  
Where is it? He usually carries it around with him.  
But it’s not in his bag.  
  
‘Tsukki?’  
  
He looks up.  
‘I need a pen,’ he says.  
Yamaguchi looks at him.  
‘Of course.’  
  
He hands him a pen.  
  
Kei pulls back the sleeve of his left arm, though not high enough to uncover the stars.  
Hinata gasps.  
‘You’re going to write to your soulmate? Here?’  
Kei doesn’t respond.  
‘But I thought Tsukishima hated soulmates,’ Hinata whispers to Yamaguchi.  
The pen hovers over his arm.  
Kei looks up briefly to Yamaguchi, who’s watching him, shocked.  
It suddenly feels important, the pen in his hand, his gaze on his best friend. Kei opens his mouth-  
The bell signals the end of their lunch break.  
  
Nobody speaks for awhile. Then Kageyama stands up briskly.  
‘Let’s get back to class.’  
He drags Hinata away from them, who protests mildly.  
  
With a sigh, Kei returns the pen to Yamaguchi.  
He swears he hears Yamaguchi exhale shakily, and in a way, Kei’s relieved that he didn’t have to choose. But he knows he’s just postponing the inevitable, that he has to choose eventually, just like Yamaguchi has done all those months ago.  
  
It’s rare, but Yamaguchi doesn’t try to speak to him on their way back to the classroom.  
It’s rare because Yamaguchi has always been able to distinguish when Kei’s silence means ‘don’t’ and when it means ‘do’.  
As Kei looks at Yamaguchi, he sees how his friend’s fists are balled. He’s biting his lip, eyes downcast.  
It’s Yamaguchi’s ‘don’t’.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the promised angst
> 
> also next time ; something happens oooohh
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, you guys are the BEST <3 I hope you enjoyed this chapter and everything so far :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I just finished reading the last book in the 'A Court of Thorns and Roses' series and I cried for so long and now it's over and I'm just so FULL of emotions. *takes a few deep breaths  
> But the good news is that I've written quite a few pages yesterday evening, so I thought I'd just update today :)  
> Enjoy!

Kei is worried.  
He’s written ‘ _thanks’_ on his arm and he’s texted Yamaguchi, asking him to come over. Hoping to lift his best friend’s mood a little.  
But neither has responded to him.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
The next day, nothing unusual happens between Yamaguchi and him. Except that he knows Yamaguchi and he sees that something’s hurting him. But Yamaguchi doesn’t tell, and Kei’s afraid to ask.  
So the weird atmosphere remains and their Friday afternoon practice goes by without so much as a single snarky comment from either of them. The worried look Hinata gives them is _so_ off-putting however, that Kei vows to always prepare a few remarks before practice.  
  
Then it’s the weekend.  
  
It’s weird for both Yamaguchi, and Kei’s soulmate to take such a long time responding. They usually reply very quickly, even initiate the conversation when Kei’s been silent for awhile.  
But now, nothing.  
  
And it troubles Kei that somehow his thoughts are filled with both of them. Of course, he’s more worried about Yamaguchi, but his thoughts frequently linger on his soulmate as well. Wondering what he’s doing, and if he’s okay.

But he doesn’t want to bother either of them, doesn’t want to be a bother, so Kei stays inside the house the whole weekend, watching nature and science documentaries on T.V.  
  
His mother notices his miserable sulking on Sunday afternoon.  
He’s lounged across the couch, eyes staring unseeingly at the T.V.  as she sits beside him, even though there isn’t really any space. Kei politely sits up, making room.  
‘What’s the documentary about?’ she asks.  
He shrugs.  
‘I don’t know.’  
‘Ah.’ His mother looks at him. ‘How’re you feeling, Kei?’  
He shrugs again, but his mother quickly dismisses the gesture with a _tsssk_.  
‘I know you’re intelligent enough to understand emotions. Or do I need to print out an emotion chart and ask you to point to the correct smiley face?’  
‘I’m being ignored,’ Kei grumbles, easily giving in to his mother’s attempt to get him to talk. ‘By both Tadashi and my soulmate.’  
His mother doesn’t say anything, but instead, puts her arm around his shoulder.  
‘And now you’re sulking?’  
He nods.  
‘Can you do something about this situation, Kei?’ she asks him gently.  
He nods again, reluctantly. ‘Probably.’  
‘Then why aren’t you?’  
His fingers pick at the edges of his sweater. The moon sweater again. Crap, he _has_ become attached to it.  
‘I might bother them.’  
‘Now, I don’t think you can very well bother your _best friend_ and your soulmate.’  
‘Then you don’t know me,’ Kei mutters.  
His mother laughs.  
‘I know you’re a delight, Kei. You’re my son after all.’  
Kei can’t help but snicker. ‘Biased.’  
‘Yes, well, Kei, I don’t think it’s fair of you to think for them. I’m sure Yamaguchi is capable of expressing his feelings, so if you’re bothering him, he’ll say it.’  
‘But what if it’s because he has trouble with his soulmate?’ Kei blurts out.  
His mother hums.  
‘A soulmate is not going to come between what you and Yamaguchi have.’  
Kei doesn’t have an answer to that. His mother stands up, probably to start cooking dinner, but Kei stops her.  
‘But…’  
Turning around, his mother waits patiently.  
‘But what about my soulmate?’ he asks.  
‘What about them?’  
‘What do I do about them?’  
His mother shrugs. ‘They’re your soulmate, you should be able to talk to them about anything.’  
Kei scowls. ‘Do you really believe that?’  
‘Yes, just as I believe that you should be able to talk about anything with your best friend and your family, and your dearest mother.’  
‘So,’ Kei says, ‘Basically, you’re not giving me any wise advice, you’re just saying, ‘go do something about it and stop feeling miserable.’  
‘I knew you were an intelligent child,’ his mother laughs.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
_Are you okay?_  
  
While Kei watches yet another documentary, his eyes burning from staring so long at a screen, his arms remain stubbornly empty except for the words he’s written down.  
What’s he supposed to do?

Wait it out?  
No, talking is key, or so his mother believes, so Kei has a fierce staring contest with his pen before he picks it up again.  
He can’t believe he’s so worried about him.  
  
_I’m a little worried_  
  
During dinner, Kei keeps his arms hidden. His parents talk about something that was on the news, allowing Kei to let his mind drift, yet again, to his soulmate.  
Kei’s not stupid.  
He knows what this means.  
Somehow, miraculously, his soulmate has become a someone in his life. Someone Kei thinks about, worries about, and enjoys talking to.  
Because besides the worry, he sort of misses their conversations. Just like Yamaguchi, his soulmate can keep up with his moods and his remarks. And he’s genuinely funny.  
And thoughtful.  
Kei thinks back about the stars on his arm, shoulder and collarbone. It must’ve been a lot of work to draw them all.  
But his soulmate did, all for him, because Kei was feeling down.  
  
When his father clears away the dishes, Kei reaches for the pen in his pocket.  
Being honest might be the best way to start the conversation again.

Even if he’s suddenly hit with nerves as he writes the words on his skin.  
  
_I think about you a lot more than I should_  
  
The whole evening, Kei can’t seem to focus on anything. He keeps casually checking his arms, looking for ink that isn’t there.  
His mother suggests they watch a movie together, so Kei forces himself to watch. His father makes a few funny jokes to which Kei laughs.  
It’s almost normal, except that his hands twitch with the need to look if he’s gotten a reply, and then their house phone is ringing.  
They pause the movie, his mother picking up the phone while his father continues cracking jokes.  
  
‘What?’

The word breaks off their conversation.  
  
‘I-is he okay? … Yes, no of course, I understand, I mean, _we_ understand. … Hmm. … Of course, I’ll pass it on. … Oh! … Yes, I think that would be even better. … I’ll tell him.’  
  
His father lifts an eyebrow and Kei feels his stomach sink when his mother hangs up and looks at him.  
‘Kei,’ she starts.  
Oh no. This can only mean one thing.  
Something went horribly, horribly wrong.  
‘Kei, Yamaguchi got into an accident.’  
  
A terrible ringing sound echoes in his ears.  
Kei’s pretty sure he’s not breathing, an invisible hand squeezing his throat, and the room starts to spin.  
  
He wants to ask what happened, but he can’t seem to make his voice work.  
But his mother tells him.  
‘He was riding his bike near the road, and a car didn’t see him. It probably went too fast.’  
  
His father’s warm hand grips his shoulder, grounding him. Which is good, because Kei feels like he might drift off any moment now.  
None of this is real… Is it?  
It feels as if every second lasts an eternity, while it’s only been a few seconds and his mother is talking as fast as she can, but Kei sees she’s also a little shaken.  
  
‘He’s in the hospital right now, but there’s no serious damage. He was lucky.’

‘Oh thank goodness,’ his father says.  
  
Kei releases a shaky sigh, feels his body sag with relief.

_Thank the stars._  
Yamaguchi is alright. He’s alright. But he’s in the hospital.  
‘Can I see him?’ he asks quickly. His voice sounds desperate.  
‘Unfortunately it’s too late to visit the hospital right now, and he’s probably sleeping. But he’s allowed to go home tomorrow, so you can visit him after school.’  
  
It sounds like the stupidest alternative ever.  
‘After school?’ he repeats.

His mother walks towards him and pulls him into a hug.  
‘Sorry, Kei.’  
  
And he thought he was bothering Yamaguchi.

It sounds very stupid now that he looks back on it.  
  
When he goes to bed that night, his thoughts are filled with Yamaguchi, and everything he could’ve texted him that would’ve been better than staying silent.  
_I guess my soulmate was right,_ Kei thinks. He really needs to start to act instead of sulk.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Needless to say, Kei sleeps horribly that night.  
  
When he looks in the mirror, his face has such an impressive glare, that he’s almost proud of himself if it wasn’t for the fact that he has to face a whole day of school and idiots without Yamaguchi.  
He hopes he’s alright.  
  
Before the first lesson starts, he quickly texts Yamaguchi.  
  
[To: Yama]  
I’ll see you after school.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
His face must be really impressive, since no one has bothered him all day. Nor did they approach him.  
Hm.  
What a blessing.  
  
Even Hinata takes one look at him, yelps, and hides behind Kageyama, yelling nonsense like ‘Tsukishima’s true face is showing’.  
Kei rolls his eyes at that.  
  
The day drags on and on, until it’s finally time.  
With much more energy or enthusiasm than he’s probably ever shown at school, Kei stands up, grabs his bag and walks away at the first sound of the bell.  
He’s the first to leave, and everybody’s staring at him but he doesn’t care.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
It’s Yamaguchi’s mother who opens the door.  
‘I thought it would be you,’ she giggles, ‘Since school finished 10 minutes ago.’  
Kei tries extra hard to hide his harsh breathing.  
Okay, so he ran part of the way.

Big deal. Kageyama and Hinata do it all the ti-  
He stops before he insults himself.  
  
Yamaguchi’s rooms a little messy, with clothes and books thrown across his desk and chair, but Kei’s not focusing on all of that.  
He immediately walks over to Yamaguchi, who’s sitting in bed, looking slightly worse for wear with bruises covering his neck and face and-  
Kei inhales sharply.  
His right arm’s in a cast.  
Yamaguchi giggles, and pats the bed, motioning for Kei to sit.  
‘Do I look that bad?’  
Kei quickly shakes his head, sitting down.  
‘Then your glare is really impressive today, Kei.’  
It’s such a weirdly sweet thing to say, that Kei can’t help but smile.  
‘Are you okay?’ he asks.  
‘Hmm,’ Yamaguchi thinks for a moment, ‘Currently I’m on a few painkillers, so I’m fine, but it sucks not being able to move my arm.’  
‘Is it just your arm that’s this bad?’  
‘Yeah, the rest of me is covered in bruises, so it doesn't look pretty, but I can pretty much move everything. I _am_ sore though.’

Kei quickly sweeps his gaze over what he can see of Yamaguchi’s body, and he does indeed look fine.  
Not in a gay way, in the ‘I’m worried about my friend’s health way’.  
Okay. Maybe a little in a gay way.  
‘What, were you worried, Tsukki?’ Yamaguchi teases.  
‘Yes,’ he replies immediately.  
‘O-oh.’  
Yamaguchi looks down at his arm, and Kei sees a small blush colour his cheeks. Honestly.  
‘Why’s that surprising?’ he asks. ‘I’m your best friend.’  
‘I know, but, I don’t know.’  
Kei snorts.

‘What an intelligent answer.’  
‘Well it made sense to _me_ ,’ Yamaguchi counters, sticking out his tongue. ‘I could explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.’  
Kei’s silent for a moment, before bursting into laughter.  
It feels great to talk like this.  
  
  
‘I think I was referring to your soulmate. Because you wanted to write to him, and I was just afraid that, well, it sounds stupid now that I’m saying it but, I thought you might be thinking more about him than me… Or something?’ Yamaguchi finishes awkwardly.  
And Kei knows exactly how he feels, because he’s been there before, still is sometimes.

And he doesn’t want Yamaguchi to feel that way.  
‘You’ll always be my star,’ Kei says honestly, and immediately Yamaguchi splutters, his blush spreading across his cheeks and neck.  
Kei tenses.  
_Crap_ , _that was really sappy._  
But then Yamaguchi composes his embarrassment and he smiles brightly, and Kei doesn’t regret saying it in the slightest.  
Until Yamaguchi says, ‘I guess that makes you my moon.’  
_That’s…_  
Needing something to do, instead of looking at Yamaguchi’s red and adorable face, Kei adjusts his glasses.  
‘You’re still high on meds.’  
Yamaguchi giggles.  
‘Tell me about today,’ he says, still smiling, and Kei gladly, and a bit dramatically, shares his terrible and exhausting day with him.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Yamaguchi’s mother waves him goodbye around 10 that night, which is later than he should’ve gone home, considering the hour he has to be up again.  
  
His mother wants to tell him this when he closes their front door, but when she sees his face, she just smiles and starts humming that tune again.  
Unconsciously, Kei hums with her.  
  
When he’s halfway up to his room, his mother calls him.  
‘Wait, Kei! How was Tadashi?’  
‘Fine,’ he replies. ‘Just bruised. Oh, and he’s broken his right arm.’  
‘Really? How will he write to his soulmate to let him know he’s alright?’ she muses.  
  
Kei freezes on the stairs.  
  
It couldn’t….  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooo what does it all mean? 
> 
> Thanks to everyone for sticking with this story and reading and commenting and everything, it means so much to me to! I'm always super happy reading your comments so thank you :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how at chapter 10 shit's going down

  
But it was too convenient… right?  
  
Kei squints at his arm, which has been empty last night and today. He texted Yamaguchi this morning, just to give him a quick heads up.  
  
[to: Yama]  
I’m coming over today.  
  
He didn’t expect any reply, but.  
  
[from: Yama]  
cntt etxt wihtlfttt  
  
It’s weirdly endearing how his friend is so terrible with his left hand.  
Actually, no, it’s not that weird. Kei thinks pretty much everything Yamaguchi does is endearing. Or adorable. Or cute.  
Or sexy…  
Kei shakes his head.  
He’s in class, he can’t allow his thoughts to linger too long on Yamaguchi’s tan back, strong arms… or muscled stomach…  
The sound of the lunch bell snaps Kei out of his very gay thoughts and he grumbles.

He didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.  
  
During lunch break, somehow, Kageyama and the orange thing are sitting with him, and Kei stares at the sunny sky.  
Why couldn’t Yamaguchi be back already?

He’d love the weather today.  
‘Where’s Yamaguchi?’ Hinata asks, mouth full of rice.  
Kei looks away in slight disgust.  
‘He’s broken his right arm.’

‘What? That sucks!’  
_Obviously_.

Kei doesn’t bother replying.  
‘I’ll text him, I want to come over and give him something nice, like ehh… Oranges or something!’  
And Hinata’s already got his phone in his hand, furiously typing away before Kei can stop him.  
‘He can’t text with his left hand,’ he says. _And I’m coming over today_, he wants to add but doesn’t.  
He guesses Yamaguchi would like more people visiting him.  
Hinata looks up.  
‘Whaaat? Really?’  
  
He frowns at the phone in his hand, then shrugs. ‘Too late, already sent the text.’  
With a deep sigh, Kei resumes his suffering in silence. And eating his lunch.  
  
It’s a miracle that Hinata’s phone goes off so fast after he sent the text. Yamaguchi must’ve been happy to receive the text then.  
Hinata reads it quickly and then forces his phone in Kei’s face.  
  
[from: yamaguchiii]  
thats sweet thnk you (•◡•)  but tsukki’s coming over tday so youll have to check w him ✧  
  
‘Tsukishima, I’m coming over too!’ Hinata declares, his eyes pinning Kei to the spot. But Kei’s not that easily intimidated. Besides, he _needs_ to figure out what to do about his newest discovery, if Yama-

He can’t think about it, afraid of being let down.  
But other than that, Kei loves hanging out with Yamaguchi, and he secretly likes coddling him when he’s sick.  
He doesn’t need the annoying orange in the room as well.  
So Kei says, ‘No.’  
Hinata puffs his cheeks up.  
‘Yes, I am! You don’t _own_ Yamaguchi, Tsukishima! And besides,’ Hinata gestures wildly with his arms and Kei wonders how long he’ll keep talking, ‘You’re super anti-social anyway. It’s good if we come along so you can talk with other people.’  
Kei likes to think he has mastered the art of disdainfully lifting his eyebrow when he sneers down at Hinata.

‘I’m not anti-social. I’m just really pro-me.’  
Kageyama snorts.  
Kei didn’t think he would have any humor.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Kei is against violence, which is why he couldn’t prevent Hinata and Kageyama from following him to Yamaguchi’s house.  
But oh, how he wanted to throw away their bikes or push them down the stairs. Gently, of course.  
  
But, as he suspected, when they enter Yamaguchi’s bedroom, a delighted ‘Hello!’ sounds from the bed.

Yamaguchi looks better already, Kei thinks as he observes his friend’s face. The rest and sleep are probably working. Oh, and don’t forget the heavy, sap-inducing meds.  
Before Kei can even reply however, Hinata has already shouted out a greeting and plopped down on Yamaguchi’s bed.  
‘Your bruises are really bad!’  
_Let’s see how you look when you get hit by a car._  
Or me.  
‘And your arm!’ Hinata gasps. ‘Can I write on your caste, ooh, can I?’  
Yamaguchi laughs. ‘Sure.’  
  
While Hinata’s searching Yamaguchi’s drawers for some pens, Kageyama has given up on his awkward hoover and quietly sits down on the desk chair. That leaves only Kei standing, unsure what to do in this new situation, even though he’s been in Yamaguchi’s room countless times before.  
Of course, Yamaguchi notices. He pats the bed and smiles.  
Kei gives him a small smile in return, and walks over to sit beside him, but gets shoved to the side by an overly enthusiastic Hinata holding a shiny, black pen.  
‘This pen looks super expensive!’  
‘Ah,’ Yamaguchi blushes, ‘It was. It’s good for drawing.’  
Hinata uncaps the pen.  
‘I didn’t know you could draw,’ he murmurs, concentrated on writing his message on the caste.  
‘Yeah, though I don’t draw much.’  
‘What do you draw?’ Kageyama asks politely.  
Yamaguchi hums, watching Hinata write.  
‘Mostly stars.’  
  
Kei freezes.  
It-  
It could still be a coincidence.  
Right?  
But his mind’s eye is already showing him his skin, covered in tiny, black stars.  
Could. Be.

‘Wait-’ Hinata looks up from his writing. ‘How are you going to write to your soulmate?’  
‘Huh?’  
Yamaguchi looks startled.  
‘Since you can’t see your right arm and you can’t write with your right hand.’  
Kageyama cuts in, ‘Moron, most people are right-handed, so his soulmate will write on his left arm.’  
  
But, Kei thinks.  
‘But,’ Hinata says, ‘Yamaguchi told me his soulmate usually writes on his right arm.’  
  
Could.  
Be.  
  
‘Ah, that’s true.’  
Yamaguchi sounds awkward.  
  
‘You know what!’  
Hinata sounds like he’s just had the greatest revelation ever, and Kei thinks it will probably be the worst.  
‘I’ll write that you’re okay, how’s that?’  
‘Does that work?’ Kageyama asks.  
Yamaguchi looks in surprise at Hinata, then his gaze shifts to Kageyama and finally, it lands on Kei.  
There’s uncertainty in his eyes.  
Then shock as Hinata writes the first few words on his left arm.  


_i am_

With a jolt, Kei realizes that he’s rolled up his sleeves because of the damn warm weather.  
But he’s not going to look, because he’s not going to see anything, except the universe’s rejection and hurt, probably.  
  
  
could               be  
  
                                     
‘There! Done!’ Hinata beams, as Kei quickly glances at his arm and.  
Sees.

The words.

On his skin, in the familiar black pen.  


_i am okay_

_No,_ Kei thinks.   _I am not okay_.  
  
It’s too late to cover anything up, as he’s very obviously holding out his arm in front of him, and he probably gasped in shock.

He’s not sure.  
Everything’s a bit slow now.  
  
‘Oh,’ says Hinata.  
  
And it would’ve been way better if Yamaguchi had said something, because Kei’s afraid to lift his head, to look at his best friend, no, his _soulm-_  
He chokes on his breath.  
Clenches his hands into fists.  
  
‘I, ehm, I didn’t know,’ Hinata blabbers suddenly. ‘I’m sorry, I thought, I thought it was okay, because Yamaguchi couldn’t write himself and I thought if I wrote for him, his soulmate wouldn’t be so worried, I'm sorry, I didn’t kno-’  
  
Kei interrupts him.  
‘Shut up. Somewhere out there a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you to breathe. I think you owe _it_ an apology.’  
  
Hinata’s silent.  
Kei stares down at his stupidly annoying face, wonders how anyone could be this tactless, but then his eyes, unwillingly, flicker to Yamaguchi.  
  
His brown eyes are open wide, in shock, his mouth forms a surprised ‘oh’ and his cheeks are beautifully red.

The freckles on his skin look so familiar to Kei that he spares a glance at them.  
He’s so.  
And he’s.  
But Kei is.  
Not while Hinata is.  
  
  
He turns towards the door and leaves.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING SO FAR <3  
> I'm really far ahead of the story now, but now I'm kinda stuck and it sucks *deep sigh 
> 
> I really, really, love reading your comments and you're all so wonderful in supporting me via those comments and kudos and everything! It means the world <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's FINALLY the weekend (I'm exhausted) I'm SO going to catch up on some sleep AND write a good chunk of the last chapters of this fic.  
> Anyways, I thought it would be nice to celebrate the beginning of the weekend with this MONSTER of a chapter, holymoly, over 4000 words.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

  
It’s not really surprising that he doesn’t hear anything from Yamaguchi, nor his sou-  
Oh.  
Right.  
They’re th e  s   a     m        e  
  
Kei’s lying on his bed, staring at the stars on his ceiling, but it feels like he’s floating somewhere above his body while being in a bubble at the same time.  
  
All his mind seems to replay is the wide-eyed expression of shock on Yamaguchi’s face.  
But was it the good or the bad kind of shock?  
  
_What should I do?  
_  
Kei doesn’t know the answer, and for some unfathomable reason, he falls asleep.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Of course there’s school the next day.  
In fact, it’s the first day Yamaguchi’s back.  
  
Kei isn’t one to break rituals, so he waits patiently at their meet-up spot.  
  
He hears the approaching footsteps falter when they spot him, and Kei looks over at Yamaguchi. There’s the same shocked expression again.  
_What should I do?  
_ Is probably what they’re both thinking.  
  
Then Yamaguchi joins his side, and Kei walks with him.  
  
‘Slept well?’ he asks, and he wonders if Yamaguchi recognizes it for the desperate cry for normalcy that it is.  
But Yamaguchi’s silent.  
Then.  
‘No.’  
  
Kei drops his gaze to the ground.  
They’re walking in sync.  
Except they aren’t.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
The only real joy of the day comes, surprisingly, from Hinata’s constipated face. The guilt is so plainly written on his face that Kei can’t help but snicker.  
Except Yamaguchi turns to look at him, and at what he’s laughing at.  
‘Is it funny?’ he whispers.  
Kei looks away. Stops laughing.  
‘No.’  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Someone else helps Yamaguchi during the day, even goes as far as to make notes in Yamaguchi’s notebook.  
Kei looks down at his own desk, his notebook, where he was already copying his notes on a separate piece of paper.  
He folds the paper in half and puts it away.  
  
He’s not.  
He isn’t the best choice for Yamaguchi… is he?  
  
The universe seems to think so.  
  
No pressure there.  
  
With a sideways glance, Kei watches Yamaguchi interact with their classmate, smiling sheepishly at his own inability to write.  
  
His eyes linger, as per usual, longer on Yamaguchi than he wants.  
  
He’s been in love with him probably since he was a kid, while having only this vague idea of romance. In Kei’s younger mind, being best friend with someone and watching stars with them was the equivalent of a healthy marriage.  
It was perfect to him.  
Then as he got older, he wished he could hold Yamaguchi’s hand more often, and that they would cuddle more.  
His wishing for Yamaguchi as his soulmate also became more serious.  
Of course, after that came the terrible hormones of puberty and the wish to kiss Yamaguchi, to touch his skin, to be the only one to see him come undone.  
  
Kei blushes and coughs.  
  
And somewhere along the line, he had accepted that he could never have Yamaguchi, because they weren’t soulmates.  
Now that he thinks back on it, they never actually sat down and tested it.  
Weird.  
  
But it’s that acceptance that built a strong, solid wall around his feelings and whispered in his ear: ‘ _It will never happen_ ’. It’s that acceptance that now refuses to let him believe that he’s…

That he…

Got what he wished for when he was younger.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
They eat lunch outside again, and Kei rolls up his sleeves, enjoying the warmth for once.  
  
He catches Yamaguchi staring at his arms.  
  
‘Why,’ Yamaguchi starts, then seems to reconsider.  
‘Hm?’  
‘Why did you write with your left hand?’  
Kei feels uneasy as he replies, ‘I didn’t want them to recognize my handwriting, in case it was someone I knew.’  
Yamaguchi winces.  
‘Well, that didn’t work out for you.’  
  
Kei frowns, finding himself wanting to say that it’s actually… okay.  
Because it’s _Yamaguchi_.  
But… what if Yamaguchi’s disappointed about him being his soulmate?  
What if by saying he’s okay with it, he forces Yamaguchi to be happy about it while, in fact, he isn’t?  
  
‘But you didn’t recognize my handwriting, right?’ he says in the end.  
He feels lame.  
  
A hollow laugh escapes Yamaguchi.  
‘Nope. Got me fooled there.’  
  
Afraid to look Yamaguchi in the eyes, Kei picks up another piece of his lunch and forces himself to eat it.  
  
_What should I do?  
_  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
During practice the next week, another horrible week, Yamaguchi fails to hit one ball.

Which isn't weird, considering how he's just gotten bandages instead of a cast around his still healing arm.

Really, he shouldn't be practicing.

Kei sees him slowly falling apart around the edges, but, yet again, he doesn’t know what to do.  
It feels like it’s becoming his new life motto.  
  
It’s not as if Kei hasn’t missed at least four blocks.  
But he’s not nearly as hard on himself when it comes to volleyball as Yamaguchi is.  
He sees the way Yamaguchi clenches his fists, looking angrily at the ground with his shoulders hunched.  
Kei wants to talk to him.  
  
Moving forward is better than standing still.

So he does.  
Behind him, Hinata objects loudly because how can he walk away mid practice game, but when he sees where Kei’s going, Hinata quickly shuts his mouth.  
Okay, it still is a _little_ funny.  
  
‘It’s okay,’ Kei says when he’s standing next to Yamaguchi, trying to comfort him.  
  
‘Is it?’  
  
Yamaguchi looks at him, so _frustrated_ , angry tears welling in his eyes, and Kei doesn’t know what to say for a second.  
Again.

Turning his body towards him, Yamaguchi repeats,  
‘Is it?’  
Body tense.  
Fists balled.  
Kei’s nervous, opens his mouth to reply but-  
  
‘IS IT?’  
  
The shout feels like a slap across his face.  
  
Kei feels the gazes of his teammates on his back, and it makes him feel insecure and awkward.  
  
Especially since they aren’t talking about volleyball anymore.  
  
So Kei handles difficult questions in difficult situations the way he always does.

By completely evading them.  
  
‘Shall we get something at McDonalds after practice?’  
  
Yamaguchi blinks.  
Says nothing.  
  
Well.  
At least he’s not shouting anymore.  
Kei inwardly cringes at his own terrible handling of the situation.

‘We could order a strawberry milkshake,’ he continues.  
  
Yamaguchi looks at him warily, but his stance gets less tense, less aggressive.  
Folding his arms over his chest, he stares down at him. ‘And?’  
‘And... we could get some floppy fries?’  
  
There’s a few seconds where Yamaguchi simply stares at him, and Kei twitches nervously under his gaze.  
He would one hundred per cent agree with his friend if he didn’t want to spend another minute in Kei’s presence because that was a terrible, terrible diversion.  
  
Then Yamaguchi flawlessly raises an eyebrow before walking past a very impressed Kei and says, ‘There’s no “we” in fries, Tsukki.’  
  
Wow.  
‘Savage,’ Kei whispers in awe.  
  
There’s no doubt left in his mind that Yamaguchi is his absolutely perfect soulmate.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
There does seem to be a ‘Tsukki’ in fries however, because after school, Yamaguchi silently turns down the road towards McDonalds.  
  
And while they’re not talking, there’s a sort of comfort in walking side by side, the only sounds the laughter of children playing and a few cars driving past.  
Kei shivers unwillingly.  
They, the cars, sound so familiar, but they almost took Yamaguchi away.  
Then Kei could never have said anything about his feelings, and Yamaguchi would’ve never known.  
Which is what Kei prefers if he’s honest, that Yamaguchi doesn’t know about his feelings, but.  
Somehow the thought does not sit right with him.  
Why?  
Does he want to tell Yamaguchi about his feelings?  
Kei frowns.  
It must be because he’s getting queasy thinking about Yamaguchi being gone.  
  
Trying his best to appear casual, Kei walks a little closer to him.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
It’s quiet inside. Lots of people probably chose to go somewhere else when the weather’s this nice.  
Kei can’t blame them. He only really likes the milkshakes at McDonalds.  
And Yamaguchi’s happy face when he’s eating his favourite floppy fries.  
  
Settled in a booth in the corner, they eat and drink in silence.  
And it’s been a long while, but as the minutes go by, it’s confirmed that even best friends can still have pretty fucking awkward silences.

Kei winces inwardly as he silently drinks his milkshake.  
So far this can’t get any worse, except maybe with Yamaguchi yelling at him.  
Or not sit here with him at all.  
Okay, it could always be worse.

He fiddles with the paper wrapper of his straw, and looks anywhere except where his eyes desperately want to look.

In fact, if you’d ask his eyes, they’d probably say Yamaguchi was their favourite place to linger.  
Great, now his _eyes_ are making him feel awkward.  
  
What’s even worse, is that he can _feel_   Yamaguchi’s gaze on him.  
  
And by refusing to look at him, he’s probably making this, whatever this is, a lot worse.  
But the anxiety and awkwardness seem to push Kei down, press him firmly in his seat, eyes focused on their table.  
  
‘If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be.’  
  
Yamaguchi’s voice sounds cold.  
  
And it sounds wrong.  
Yamaguchi has always been the warm one.  
Not the cold, mysterious moon but the comforting, bright stars.  
  
He can hear Yamaguchi sigh.  
It’s a miserable sound.

‘I- You know, Kei, I really understand your point of view, I do. I just don’t think… Um. I just don’t think I can…’  
Yamaguchi trails off, leaves the word hanging in the air. If Kei stares hard enough at the table, he can probably see them float.  
  
‘I just…’  
  
He’s struggling so much with finding the right words, and Kei knows he should help, should participate in this supposed conversation, or at the very least look up to show that he’s listening. But.  
What’s he supposed to say?  
It starts to feel an awful lot like rejection and the only thing on Kei’s mind right now is how he doesn’t want to lose Yamaguchi.  
  
_I just want to be with you, that’s all.  
  
_ But that’s saying too much.  
  
Besides, if he’s about to be rejected, why make this situation needlessly more difficult? Can’t he just sit and shut up, listen to Yamaguchi blow him off like it’s nothing.  
No, that’s not true, it’s obviously difficult for Yamaguchi, if the painful silences between his words are anything to go by.  
  
Can’t really blame him, right?  
  
Who’d want Kei as his soulmate.  
  
Since he’s always so negative.  
His remarks are sometimes too rude or harmful, he has anxieties, he names problems ‘Taboo Topics’ and refuses to talk about them instead of confronting them like any _normal_ person would.  
And while he knows Yamaguchi inside out, knows him better than his own brother by now, that doesn’t immediately make Kei the best choice for him.  
  
But he’d already established that from the beginning.

The universe’s not to be trusted with something this insanely important.  
Fuck the universe.  
  
‘I don’t…’ Yamaguchi forces out.  
  
Maybe this is the universe’s way of saying fuck you too.  
  
Kei stands abruptly, eyes still trained on the table.  
He should really say something.  
  
But will it change anything?

Kei doubts, taking a hesitant step towards the exit.  
  
Yamaguchi says nothing.  
It’s painful.

He wants out, out out out out ou  
  
‘What, you’re really going to walk away again?’ Yamaguchi says through gritted teeth.  
Is he angry?  
One hand still resting on the table, Kei stands still.  
‘Isn’t that what you wanted?’  
‘I- _what_?’  
Turning around, Kei makes the mistake of looking at Yamaguchi.  
It’s just Yamaguchi, he thinks, as he sees the familiar face of his friend, his best friend, no apparently even more than that, his soulmat-  
Kei chokes.  
It’s too much he’s never going to be he can’t

He recognizes this for the panic attack that it is.

Apparently, Yamaguchi does too.

He stands up slowly and touches Kei’s arm.  
‘Tsukki,’ he calls out softly, ‘try to take a few slow breaths.’  
_Pathetic.  
_ Kei shrugs his hand off.  
‘No. It’s okay. I’m sorry I’m your soulmate, I’ll go now.’  
And walks briskly away.  
  
  
       ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Outside the sun is no longer shining.

In fact, and Kei rolls his eyes at the universe, there’s dark clouds gathering in the air.  
  
  
‘WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?’  
  


Kei stops his frantic pace and turns around, shocked.  
A waterdrop lands on his nose.  
  
Yamaguchi’s running towards him.  
  
He doubles over when he’s reached him, breathing heavily, and Kei’s mind automatically finds it endearing how he manages to look angry while panting.  
  
His other automatic response is to say something sarcastic, but Yamaguchi grabs his arm almost painfully, and he shuts up.  
  
‘No,’ Yamaguchi says sternly, ‘No, you don’t get to just shake me off. I’m sorry but soulmates don’t work like that. I’m staying on your skin, whether you like it or not.’  
  
What?  
Kei frowns.  
‘But you’re not on my skin right now.’  
Yamaguchi groans.

‘Really? You’re going to be difficult?’  
But the heavy atmosphere seems gone as a few more drops of water land on Kei’s cheeks, and a few on Yamaguchi’s nose and eyelashes.  
Yes, his eyelashes.  
Kei watches in wonder as the drops cling to dark lashes framing warm brown eyes that are looking in frustration at him.

Kei quickly looks away.  
‘I’m always difficult,’ he mutters in reply.  
Yamaguchi snorts.  
‘That’s true. And look, somehow I’m still here.’

Yes, and that’s weird.  
‘No, it’s not.’  
He said that out loud.  
Should he say the rest of his thoughts out loud then too?

Yamaguchi probably doesn’t want to hear them.

‘I know, Kei, I know you don’t believe in soulmates.’  
  
Kei looks in surprise at Yamaguchi, and finds not frustration, but just sadness there. The grip on his arm loosens.  
  
‘So I won’t force you into a … um,’ Yamaguchi blushes. ‘Into anything.’  
  
Kei’s mind not really comprehending what’s happening.  
  
‘But… um, I think I want to. Be your ehm, you know… I mean, I already am yours, obviously, well okay, not obviously, since you don’t believe in the universe’s choice… but this, um, this is going to sound even more stupid to you then… I-’  
A look of determination flickers across Yamaguchi’s face and his grip tightens again.  
  
It starts raining.  
  
Though the drops are cold, Kei feels weirdly warm from the way Yamaguchi’s looking at him. A few wet strands of dark brown hair stick to his cheeks now.  
  
‘I don’t know how to convince you, Tsukki. B-but-’  
Yamaguchi blushes, but holds his gaze as he pulls him forward a little, determination in his every move as he says,  
‘But I want to be your soulmate, even if you don’t believe in them.’  
  
Kei’s eyes widen.  
  
_I want to be your soulmate  
I want  
  
_ Is…  
Did he really hear that?

Kei’s heart is beating wildly in his chest and he’s not sure he’s breathing but that’s a normal reaction when Yamaguchi’s close to him and looking at him as if Kei’s enough.  
  
And Kei wishes his life would be a little more like on TV, because it’s getting really hard to see Yamaguchi clearly now with the rain making his glasses almost impossible to look through.  
Makes it somehow easier to say what’s on his mind.  
  
‘I never said that I don’t believe in soulmates,’ he replies hoarsely.

Yamaguchi looks startled.

At least, the parts of Yamaguchi that he can see.  
‘O-oh.’  
  
Is this?  
  
The rain has drenched both of them by now, but Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to notice or mind. He’s staring at Tsukki, and he’s blushing, and Kei is tired of not getting the full picture, so he takes off his glasses.  
Yamaguchi sucks in a breath at this and Kei’s confused for a second as to why, until Yamaguchi takes a hesitant step forward.  
  
Is this?  
  
Is this the part where

Yamaguchi loosens his grip on Kei’s arm again, then trails his hand down his arm to his hand and.

Slowly interlaces their fingers.  
All of Kei’s attention is focused on the feel of their hands fitting nicely together.  
It’s what he wanted to do so badly for all those years.  
  
Another hesitant step forward.  
  
Is this?  
  
Kei’s heart is hammering loudly in his chest, it’s ridiculous. Surely Yamaguchi can hear it from where he’s standing.  
  
He looks at Yamaguchi, who’s looking so unsure and nervous and so so so perfect even in the rain with his hair sticking to his face.  
  
As Yamaguchi takes another step forward, Kei’s eyes drop unwillingly to his mouth.  
Yamaguchi licks his lips as if he’s afraid they weren’t wet enough, even though they’re already glistening from the rain.  
Who’s he kidding.

Very willingly- willing. He’s willing. Very willing.  
  
Is this the moment where?  
  
Kei holds his breath as Yamaguchi takes yet another step forward, closing the distance between their chests.  
It’s scary, that’s what it is, so Kei closes his eyes and hopes, for the love of the stars, that Yamaguchi understands.  
  
When he feels the touch of wet lips on his own, his hands start to shake.  
  
This is the moment where they kiss.  
  
Kei thinks nothing has ever felt as perfect as this moment.  
And that’s pretty sappy, but it’s the truth.  
  
Yamaguchi’s lips are soft and still warm, despite the rain, against his.

But they're also gone way too fast, and Kei opens his eyes and mouth in protest, but then Yamaguchi giggles nervously.  
  
‘I don’t think my bandages are supposed to get wet.’  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
They quickly decide to head over to Yamaguchi’s house, where medicine and dry bandages are.  
  
Running is somehow not very hard to do as Kei finds his feet flying, his steps light.  
  
Once they're inside, Yamaguchi calls out ‘I’m home!’ but nobody answers.  
‘Too bad,’ he mumbles. ‘It would’ve been nice to have dry towels by the door.’  
Kei nods in response, which Yamaguchi probably doesn’t see since he's busy unlacing his shoes.

On bare feet, they tread through the house, then upstairs in search of towels.  
Kei watches his friend bend in an awkward position to try and reach the towels for approximately three seconds before he decides,

‘No. I think that’s even worse for your arm.’  
With an amused look in his eyes, Yamaguchi steps aside and lets Kei pick two large, fluffy ones which he carries over to Yamaguchi’s room.  
  
With a smile, Yamaguchi sits on the bed. ‘I don’t think my arm can handle me drying myself,’ he says cheekily.

Kei glares at him. ‘I was serious. That awkward bend didn’t look okay.’  
But he’s met with more giggles.  
  
It’s only to shut him up, Kei convinces himself, as he walks towards Yamaguchi and drapes the towel over his head to gently dry his hair.  
  
It does, indeed, shut Yamaguchi up.  
  
Being really careful, because he doesn’t know if Yamaguchi has hurt his head, Kei moves the towel in slow circles over Yamaguchi’s hair.  
They’re silent.  
Without thinking, Kei reaches out and brushes a few stray hairs back.  
Was that weird?  
He looks nervously at Yamaguchi, but Yamaguchi has his eyes closed, cheeks pink, so Kei allows himself to look a little longer.  
His mind instantly drifts back to their kiss in the rain.  
Did that really happen?  
Eyes dropping to Yamaguchi’s lips, Kei swallows.  
_I want to kiss him again._  
Ever so slowly, Kei bends forwards.  
Closes his eyes as well.  
  
‘Tsukk- oh.’  
  
Lurching back, Kei opens his eyes in shock and shame at being caught.  
He can feel his cheeks burning and inwardly curses himself for being so stupid.  
In front of him, Yamaguchi’s biting his lip and looking at his hands. His cheeks are also bright red.  
  
_Great.  
_ He made things awkward again.  
Perhaps he shouldn’t have moved so fast.  
This was too fast probably. Yeah.  
  
‘Tsukki?’  Yamaguchi calls out softly.  
But Kei doesn’t dare meet his eyes.

‘Um. You, um, can.’  
  
The words are hesitant, but they have his eyes widening as Kei turns his head to look at him.  
  
Yamaguchi’s still nervously looking at his hands. Hands that are fiddling with the edges of the towel still adorably draped over his head.

A few strands of hair are sticking out in every direction.  
It’s such a sweet sight that Kei can’t help but smile a little, the awkwardness temporarily forgotten.  
  
Without saying anything, because what in the world would he say in this situation? _okay incoming?_ , he picks up the towel and lays it carefully on the bed.  
Delaying.  
Because this sure is scary, Kei thinks, initiating a kiss.  
Again he thinks about how much braver Yamaguchi is.  
  
Taking a deep breath, as if going underwater, Kei leans forward again.  
Immediately, Yamaguchi closes his eyes and tilts his head back slightly.  
Yeah, Kei doesn’t really think anymore as he presses his lips against Yamaguchi’s.  
  
So soft.

Tilting his head a little, Kei moves his lips softly, and to his surprise Yamaguchi responds immediately.  
  
Kei can’t help his hand reaching up and cupping Yamaguchi’s neck, pulling him closer, because he doesn’t want to let this go.  
  
Doesn’t want to let Yamaguchi go.  
  
And with a start he realizes that he doesn’t have to, because they’re soulmates.

Yamaguchi is his soulmate.  
  
Carding his fingers through the soft, wet strands of Yamaguchi’s hair, Kei thinks of nothing but the slow slide of their lips together, the warmth of Yamaguchi’s breath on his skin.  
Soulmates.  
They’re soulmates.  
  
As if in response to his thoughts, Yamaguchi wraps his arms tightly around Kei’s waist, and- wait, should he be doing that? Isn’t that bad for his arm?  
But as Yamaguchi pulls him towards him, Kei stops doubting, and instead tries to find a way to lie down without crushing Yamaguchi’s bruised body.  
It seems Yamaguchi doesn’t really mind though, as he purposefully pulls Kei on top of him.  
And.

There’s a lot of places where they’re touching.  
  
But none as important as their lips, their mouths, connecting, silently saying all the things Kei was afraid would never be said.

So Kei presses his lips more firmly against Yamaguchi’s, and Yamaguchi responds by shyly opening his mouth a little, inviting him.  
  
_Oh._  
It surprises Kei.  
  
Heart thundering in his chest, he wastes no second in chasing after him, and Yamaguchi immediately opens his mouth a little more, meeting Kei’s tongue as he explores his mouth.  
  
Kei knew _he_ was very willing.  
But as he feels Yamaguchi’s hands roam over his back, partly to feel as much of Kei as he can and partly to hold him firmly against him, as he feels Yamaguchi kissing him back with such enthusiasm, Kei wonders for a split second if perhaps Yamaguchi was just as…  
But it couldn’t be.  
Right?  
  
‘Tadashi? Are you home?’  
  
For the second time that day, Kei lurches back from surprise and embarrassment.  
Beneath him, Yamaguchi’s looking up at him, his breathing heavy, and there’s such adoration in his eyes that Kei flushes and moves off of him quickly.  
  
Yamaguchi giggles.  
  
‘Yeah, I’m here with Kei,’ he calls back down, sounding breathless. His mother shouts something back, but Kei doesn't really hear.  
  
A hand touches his back.  
  
‘You looked surprised. Sorry, if I, um, did something that you didn’t want.’  
Kei looks over his shoulder.  
Yamaguchi has turned on his side, and is biting his lip nervously. Kei watches it longer than necessary, entranced by the redness of his lips, probably a result of Kei’s not so soft kissing at one point.  
He coughs and turns around again.

‘It was fine.’  
‘O-oh.’  
What’s he saying?  
It was _more_ than fine.  
‘I was just surprised that you wanted to,’ he adds.  
Now it’s Yamaguchi’s turn to sound surprised. ‘What? Why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?’  
Really?  
‘Where to start,’ he mutters.  
Yamaguchi giggles again.  
The hand on his back draws small, soothing circles.  
Kei closes his eyes.  
In a soft voice, whispered in the silence, Yamaguchi says, ‘It’s always been you, Kei.’  
  
For just a little longer, Kei keeps his eyes closed.  
Breathes in.  
And out.  
‘I guess I owe the universe an apology.’  
  
‘Wow, _that_ I need to hear. Tsukishima Kei apologizing to someone.’  
  
Rude.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
As he comes home, his mother takes one look at his face and laughs.  
Kei tries to scowl at her, but his smile just won’t go away. He can feel it being stuck on his face much like his soulmate’s writing.  
Yamaguchi’s writing.  
Ah, the smile widens.  
  
When Kei’s lying in bed, rolling over to turn off the lamp, he notices the pen on his bedside table.  
Grinning, he starts writing.  
  
_Okay, don’t freak out.  
But I think I figured out who you are.  
  
_ The reply is wobbly, but immediate.  


_i am yet again amazed by ur intelligence_  
_must be the glasses_

Kei laughs.  
And his heart does this little jump in his chest that tells Kei he has, indeed, fallen for his soulmate.  
As he feared.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAS now I can finally tell you why I'm stuck. I'm considering cranking up the rating for this fic and put, y'know, some sexy times in there. But I'm not sure if that's what you guys want since this started as a teen and up fic. I guess I could always make it a seperate piece, a sort of sequel... Mm, let me know what you guys think!
> 
> BUT can I just tell you all how AMAZING you are! Seriously, without your comments and love I wouldn't be able to write this much in such a short time. You all mean the WORLD to me, so thank you <3
> 
> Next time on i hope the night sky is pretty wherever you are. : awkward peoples


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO WONDERFUL PEOPLE  
> So after a lot, and I mean A LOT, of debating and talking with my lovely and supportive friends, I've decided to continue the story here instead of making a sequel. I had intended for it to be one story, and my friends said 'then that's what it should be'. I'm so lucky they put up with me ;u;  
> Anyways  
> I'll post warnings at the beginning of chapters where sexual things are a-happening. If you feel a chapter needs a warning, don't hesitate to ask me, I'll definitely put one up! 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy the continuation of the story :)

Everything’s the same the next morning, except obviously it isn’t.  
  
When Yamaguchi approaches him at their meet-up point, he smiles shyly at Kei as he says, ‘Good morning.’  
And Kei feels ridiculous as he ducks his head and mumbles, ‘Good morning.’  
  
They walk in silence for a while, and Kei is very aware of the space between their hands and bodies.  
What are they supposed to do now?  
What do soulmates _do,_ exactly?  
Is there a sort of soulmate activity center where you can do all kinds of exclusive soulmate stuff, like gloat to other people that you’ve found yours.  
Kei snorts at his thoughts.  
Yamaguchi looks at him.  
‘What is it?’ he asks.  
  
‘I was having an existential crisis,’ Kei replies. ‘What am I supposed to do now that I can’t hate the universe?’  
‘Being who you are, I’m sure you’ll find other things to hate,’ Yamaguchi laughs.  
  
Their hands brush together.  
  
Kei feels himself go rigid from nerves.  
He sees Yamaguchi blush and put his hand in his pocket.  
Wait.  
It’s too awkward to say _I want to hold your hand_ , so Kei stares in agony at the space where Yamaguchi’s hand was.  
  
Except of course Yamaguchi notices.  
  
‘What?’ he asks again.  
With a nod to their hands, Kei says awkwardly, ‘Your hand.’  
Yamaguchi lifts it. Examines it.  
‘Yeah, there’s no writing on it.’  
‘No, that’s not-’  
‘But that’s okay, my soulmate is a bit awkward about this.’  
Kei blushes and scowls at the ground.  
‘Well your soulmate is a bit new to this,’ he mutters.  
  
Moving very slowly, so that Kei can still pull his hand back, Yamaguchi grabs Kei’s hand and interlaces their fingers.  
Heart going wild inside his chest, Kei looks shyly at Yamaguchi, who’s smiling as he looks at their joined hands.  
‘Me too, Kei.’  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Three little stars appear on his wrist during English.  
  
Kei smiles down at them and picks up his pen.  
  
_Still not a Shakespeare fan?_  
  
He gets a frowny face as an answer.  
Glancing up, Kei sneaks a glance at Yamaguchi, who’s a few seats to his right. And who’s already looking at Kei.  
They both blush.  
  
It’s ridiculous, how they’re acting like teenagers in love, except that’s exactly how Kei feels.  
  
If only he would have the nerve to actually _tell_ Yamaguchi all about his feelings.  
  
But it’s too awkward, so Kei, trying his hardest, draws a little star next to the three already there.  
It vaguely resembles a star.  
Vaguely.  
  
The muffled snort to his right has Kei cringing a little, and he frowns at Yamaguchi.  
When he sees Yamaguchi hiding his laugh behind his hand, he feels the blush rising on his cheeks.  
  
Well it’s not about perfection, it’s about effort

He hears the telltale snicker of Yamaguchi as he sees the word appear on his skin.  


_I heard effort is like toothpaste_  
_you can always squeeze out a little bit more_

Kei looks incredulous at Yamaguchi, who’s grinning back at him.  
Ugh.  
It may not be about perfection, but Kei thinks Yamaguchi is perfect.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Yes, everything’s all happy rainbows and puppies, except Kei hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep in a week.

On the one hand, it makes his face appear a little more scary every day, which is a good thing, as he’s tired of Hinata’s shocked face every time he smiles.  
Which is honestly a little dramatic.  
  
But this can’t go on.  
People die from lack of sleep.  
  
It’s what he tells Yamaguchi seriously on their walk to school.  
‘People also die from lack of love,’ is the serious reply.  
Except when Kei looks over at his friend, there’s a hint of a smile on his lips.  
He groans.  
‘You’re not taking me seriously.’  
‘Oh no, Tsukki, I am. Let’s make a plan on how to make you unhappy again, so that you can sleep better.’  
Kei flushes and readjusts his glasses.  
Is he that obvious?

_Awkward._  
But Yamaguchi nudges his shoulder playfully. ‘It’ll right itself after a few more days, I’m sure.’  
‘It might be too late then.’  
‘Or…,’ Yamaguchi says slowly, ignoring his warning, ‘You could practice harder so that you’re more tired in the evenings.’  
Kei rolls his eyes.  
‘Nice try.’  
Yamaguchi shrugs.

‘Just looking out for my soulmate’s health.’  
Yes, his glasses definitely need a second readjustment.  
He still isn’t used to Yamaguchi calling him his soulmate. Or vice versa.  
‘I mean,’ Yamaguchi adds casually, swinging his school bag around with his left hand, ‘I could recommend other activities that’ll make you more tired in the evenings, but…’  he trails off.  
Is he?  
Images are flashing in his mind, of them kissing, touching, tas-  
Kei swallows.  
Doesn’t dare to look at his friend.  
Is he implying what Kei thinks he’s implying?  
  
‘But?’ he asks hoarsely.  
  
There’s nothing but pure innocence on Yamaguchi’s face as he looks at him.  
‘But I’m sure you don’t need those,’ Yamaguchi says with a smile.  
Kei inwardly groans.  
And becomes suddenly conscious of the fact that they’re almost near the school gates, and that he really wants to kiss Yamaguchi.  
Since it’s been a week.  
Which is a fact Kei hasn’t forgotten, in fact, has remembered it for the whole said week.  
  
So he stops walking.  
And Yamaguchi stops walking, looking at him curiously.  
‘Let’s-’  
Kei immediately stops that sentence.  
‘Let’s kiss?’  What is he _thinking_?  
Real sexy, Kei.  
  
A voice interrupts his thoughts.  
  
‘Good morning Yamaguchi!’  
  
The dread that settles on Kei’s face has nothing to do with his lack of sleep.  
Why does Hinata always happen at the wrong time?  
  
Yamaguchi, who is a decent human being, turns around and waves at Hinata’s irritating little form approaching them.  
‘Let’s go inside,’ Kei grunts.  
‘But Tsukki,’ Yamaguchi whispers, ‘He’s nearly here.’  
‘No, I refuse. It’s too early.’  
Yamaguchi giggles.  
‘You escape then, I’ll talk to him.’  
And it’s a little dramatic, but Kei feels his heart warming as he quickly flees inside the school building.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Of course it’s all his mind can think about when he lies in bed that night.  
What it would be like to kiss without interruption, where it would… lead.  
The thought does scare him a little, since Kei obviously hasn’t got any experience in that department.  
But it’s not like he hasn’t thought or fantasized about it for at least three years.  
Like he hasn’t wanted it for at least three years.  
  
Kei sighs.  
Great.  
Another restless night.  
  
Until Yamaguchi’s words echo in his mind.  
‘ _other activities that’ll make you more tired in the evenings_ ’  
  
Maybe.  
Maybe, he could.  
  
Kei lifts his right hand.  
Sees the words on his palm.  


_tired yet, tsukki?_

With a groan, and a blush, he drops his hand again.  
Yeah, no.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I was so blown away by all your sweet and awesome comments on the last chapter <3 I cannot thank you enough for the support you're giving me! It's so great and it motivated me enough to map out the ending of this story (in detail) and everything, so now I'll 'only' need to write it :D Thank you for that <3 
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts about this chapter !


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My day has been shit, so I hoped that by updating, I could at least make yours a little happier!   
> (that is if that you get happy by this fic at all haha)
> 
> Enjoy!

One week and two days.  
  
Kei’s lying on the couch, the TV droning in the background.  
He’s glaring at nothing in particular, one arm dangling off the couch.  
  
As his mother walks in, probably having observed him from afar for a while and deeming it safe to enter, she says, ‘What a fine day, isn’t it?’  
Kei’s glare shifts to his mother.  
She smiles back at him.  
Then, unbelievably, his brother walks in.  
  
Not wanting to deal with that, Kei’s about to sling his arm over his eyes, but his brother catches the look in his eyes before he can cover them.  
‘Woah, what’s he pissed about?’  
His mother picks up the vase of flowers on the table and inspects them casually.  
‘His soulmate probably,’ she replies.  
His brother raises his eyebrow in surprise.  
‘What? We’re still pretending we don’t know it’s Yamaguchi?’  
Kei immediately sits up straight. ‘What?’  
‘What?’  
His brother looks at him.  
Kei glares back.

In the background, his mother starts humming as she picks a few dead leaves off the flowers.  
‘Now, Akiteru, be nice. It’s okay for Kei to keep secrets from his family, from his own mother even.’  
With a groan, Kei flops back on the couch. Part of him wants to go to his room, but hearing his mother’s tone just now, he knows he’s not getting away.  
His brother laughs. ‘It’s cute though.’  
He ignores his brother, and instead mutters to his mother, ‘It wasn’t a secret.’  
Now it’s his mother’s turn to laugh. ‘No, you’re right, it never was.’  
There’s a fierce blush quickly appearing on his cheeks, so Kei takes this as his cue to leave.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
After practice, everyone’s changing and yelling, and as per usual Kei’s faster than everybody else since he actually changes.  
And as per usual, he sits on the bench near Yamaguchi, who’s still changing.  
  
Now normally Kei would reign himself in.  
But he just can’t stop looking at Yamaguchi’s mouth.  
What’s even worse is that Yamaguchi is obviously talking to him, something about a show that he’s watching, and Kei _does_ listen, he honestly does, but it’s been more than a week and a half and he really, desperately, wants to kiss Yamaguchi.  
  
It’s a miracle Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to notice.

‘Everything okay, Tsukki?’  
  
Of course he notices.  
  
Kei’s eyes snap back to Yamaguchi’s.  
‘Yes, it’s- I’m okay.’  
  
There’s the amusing little glint in Yamaguchi’s eyes again.  
  
‘You’ve been sleeping alright?’  
  
Kei coughs and refuses to blush.  
  
‘It’s okay.’  
  
Then Yamaguchi does the unthinkable as he pulls his practice shirt over his head, standing _shirtless_ in front of him, and leans forward a bit, as if he wants to tell something private.  
He probably does.  
  
‘You can always write to me if you can’t sleep.’  
  
And Kei’s confused, because Yamaguchi’s voice is sweet and concerned, and he obviously means well, but he’s fucking shirtless.

And they haven’t kissed for more than a week and a half.  
The battle inside his mind, and body, is furious, leaving him staring at Yamaguchi’s face, and while Kei’s not saying anything, Yamaguchi unconsciously leans forward.  
Slowly closes the distance between them.  
Yamaguchi’s eyes flicker to Kei’s lips, and he swallows.  
Is he going to kiss him here?  
_Shirtless?_  
Not that Kei minds.  
It’s been after all, more than a week and a h-  
  
‘HEY Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, want to get something from the shop? It’s on me,’ Hinata announces his _unwanted_ presence. ‘Since I, you know,’ he continues, and Kei wonders if he’s missing his eyeballs, because can’t he see that they’re leaning close, having a _private_ conversation that almost wasn’t a conversation anymore?  
Hinata rubs at his neck. ‘Since I messed up back then.’  
  
Yamaguchi leans back and pulls his normal shirt over his head.  
‘That’s sweet, Hinata. Is Kageyama coming too?’  
An affirmative grunt from Hinata’s left.  
A miserable grunt from behind Yamaguchi.  
  
‘Yeah, let’s go then.’  
  
_Great._  
Now it’s going to be closer to two weeks.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Kei tosses and turns at night, his thoughts replaying moments where Yamaguchi talked to him, looked at him, smiled at him.  
Just.  
Yamaguchi.  
  
Oh, he’s got it so bad.  
  
So in the end, he does.  
He writes.  
  
_I can’t sleep._  
  
It surprises him that the response is rather quick, as if Yamaguchi has been waiting for this.

_thinking about a lot of things?_

_Mostly just you._  
  
The next words take a little longer to appear on his skin.

_good things I hope_

Kei smiles.  
Is Yamaguchi fishing for compliments?  
Okay, no beating around the bush, out with it before he changes his mind.  
  
_I want to kiss you._  
  
The reply is immediate, and has Kei blushing furiously.

_where?_

Um.  
Kei tries to twirl his pen in his hands, fails, causing the pen to fly off somewhere.  
With a sigh, he stands up to search for it, but it’s way too dark to find it, so he has to turn back and turn on the light.  
After a little while he finds it behind his desk chair.  
  
When he looks at his arm again, there’s a new word.

_sorry_

_What? Why are you sorry?_

_I shouldn’t have said that_

_Don’t worry Hagrid._  
_I’m okay with it._

_are you though?  
I know you don’t love the idea of soulmates._

Kei bites his lip.  
It’s true that they haven’t spoken a lot about what happened. Kei figured it was obvious, obvious from the way they kissed that this was everything he wanted and more.  
But perhaps he should’ve made it clearer that, a long time ago, he’s _chosen_ Yamaguchi as his soulmate.  
Because he couldn’t imagine lov-

…  Lovi-  
Ugh.  
It’s a little cringy.  
  
So Kei writes,

_Hamlet, Act II, Scene II_  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
The next morning, as they’re walking to school, Yamaguchi’s rather quiet.  
  
Kei nudges him gently.  
‘You okay?’  
  
Instead of answering his question, Yamaguchi suddenly asks, ‘What did you mean yesterday? You forgot to give the lines.’  
  
Oh.  
  
_Stupid._  
  
Turning his head, in order to avoid Yamaguchi’s gaze, Kei reluctantly mumbles,

‘Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar,  
But never doubt…. I love.’  
  
Yamaguchi stops walking.  
Turns his body towards him.  
Kei nervously looks at the school gate which, to be honest, is just a little speck in the distance, but still.  
‘Kei,’ Yamaguchi says.  
He feels the tiniest hint of blush on his cheeks and scowls at nothing in particular.  
  
‘Kei.’  
  
Because when Yamaguchi uses his name, it always throws him off.  
Besides, reciting Shakespeare for a second time was even more awkward.  
It should not become a habit.  
  
‘Kei, I’m going to kiss you now.’  
  
Shocked, he turns his head, just as Yamaguchi grabs his jacket and closes the distance between their mouths.  
  
It takes Kei about four seconds to respond.  
  
Then he lifts his hand and places it gently on Yamaguchi’s cheek.  
And they’re kissing.

Finally.  
  
But he needs to tell him, he needs to tell Yamaguchi before something like yesterday night happens again.  
  
So Kei reluctantly pulls away and looks in Yamaguchi’s eyes.

The fact that Yamaguchi’s pupils are dilated, sends a shiver down his spine.  
‘Don’t. Don’t worry about what I said before.’  
His thumb gently strokes Yamaguchi’s cheek as he continues, ‘Because I’ve always hoped it would be you. Because... I didn’t believe the universe could find anybody more perfect than you.’  
  
At his words, Yamaguchi’s eyes widen slightly.  
‘You mean… You mean you’ve?’  
  
Okay, if Kei’s already poured his heart out at 8 o’clock in the morning, he can probably handle one more awkward confession.  
  
‘Yeah,’ he mumbles. ‘I’ve been in love with you for a long, long time.’  
  
The smile on Yamaguchi’s face is so sweet that Kei wonders why he hadn’t said this sooner.  
  
The love and adoration in Yamaguchi’s eyes makes him fidget though, and soon it becomes too much, so Kei quickly kisses him again.  
He slides his hand around Yamaguchi’s neck, tilting his head back, deepening their kiss.  
  
‘Hey! If I had known this, I wouldn’t have treated you yesterday!’ Hinata yells indignantly.  
  
how.  
  
It’s almost impressive.  
  
Responding, however, requires him stopping kissing Yamaguchi.  
Yeah no.  
Yamaguchi laughs against his mouth.  
‘Rude, Tsukki.’  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
After their kiss this morning, Kei can’t seem to focus on anything else without Yamaguchi popping up in his mind, the sensation of kissing him, the feel of their lips sliding together.  
  
Kei groans.  
That’s the third time during biology that he finds himself distracted.  
  
He wonders if Yamaguchi’s having the same problem, or if he’s just sitting there, infuriatingly calm and collected as he’s taking notes about some plant.  
It’s unfair.  
Kei tries to glare at him, but it’s a little ineffective as Yamaguchi’s sitting far away _and_ one row in front of him.  
  
But he’s probably thinking about it too, right? Because he wrote…      
where?  
So that must mean that he’s thinking about ‘it’ as well. Things. Them doing things together.  
Ugh.  
If he was talking instead of thinking, Kei would’ve shut up immediately, because that was some real eloquence right there.  
They’ve _always_ been doing something together, but. He means the sexual things, the reproductive things.  
  
Kei represses the urge to slap himself in the face.  
Reproductive things _?_  
They’re _gay_. They can’t reproduce whilst doing sexual things.  
Also can his mind stop being so awkwardly biological about this?  
  
Frustrated with his own inability to think maturely about sex, Kei picks up his pen and starts writing on his arm.  
  
The effect is immediate, and satisfyingly noticeable.  
Because Yamaguchi jumps in his seat, drops his pen, which clatters to the ground, and turns bright red, staring at his arm with wide eyes.  
Which is great, because Kei was afraid he wouldn’t get his message:  
  
_Anywhere you want._  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uughh I'm still anxious about the way this fic is going. I do want to write it like this, but somehow I get angsty thoughts about what you're all thinking. Anyways  
> I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts and everything, please feel free to shout them at me in the comments <3 
> 
> To everyone's who's still reading and supporting this fic, THANK YOU SO MUCH :D It makes me reaaallyy happy (which is great on a shitty day like today)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people,  
> so I worked super hard and I think I'm like 99% done with this fic. So if all goes well, I can finish it up tomorrow! Exciting :)  
> Talking about exciting, this chapter is MATURE. If you don't want to read that, I totally understand.  
> It gets really mature at "but for all the longing looks" etc.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Needless to say, Yamaguchi has a hard time looking Kei in the face after that.  
  
But if he’s honest, Kei’s not that brave either, quickly looking away every time their eyes meet. So he’s a little relieved when Coach Ukai calls him back after practice to discuss one of his newest volleyball techniques.  
  
Well it’s not like he could’ve asked the others, since Kei’s the only one fully dressed.  
_Seriously, are they still in kindergarten?_  
He leaves his bag with Yamaguchi and walks out, calling over his shoulder that it’ll just take a few minutes.  
  
Only it doesn’t take a few minutes, because Coach is way too enthusiastic and Kei has to literally start walking away to end the conversation.  
  
As he opens the door to the locker room, most of the team’s gone and it’s only Yamaguchi and Nishinoya, chatting about nothing important. Both still halfway dressed.  
_Honestly._  
  
‘Hey, how’d it go with Coach?’ Nishinoya asks, while quickly putting on his pants and shoes as if he suddenly has somewhere he urgently needs to be.  
With an awkward shrug, Kei mumbles, ‘He wouldn’t stop talking.’  
Both Yamaguchi and Nishinoya laugh at that, then suddenly Nishinoya is all dressed, picking up his bag and running out of the locker room.  
‘See you on Monday!’ he calls out. And he’s gone.  
  
Kei turns to look at Yamaguchi, which is always a mistake because recently, his eyes can’t seem to unlook at Yamaguchi.  
Who’s currently hopping on one leg trying to get his pants on.  
It’s ridiculous how adorable it looks.  
  
‘Why are you so slow?’ Kei sighs in fake frustration.  
A gasp of indignation.  
‘I’m not slow!’  
Kei gestures to the empty locker room, which, honestly, proves his point. Yamaguchi seems to understand this as well and retorts,

‘Well, maybe I just wanted to be alone with you.’  
Then seems to backtrack as he thinks about what he’s just said.  
‘Um, I mean…’  
  
Yamaguchi awkwardly rubs his neck, and Kei can see him looking for something to save them from this awkward situation.  
  
Heart pounding in his chest, Kei realizes he doesn’t want Yamaguchi to change the topic.  
Because... he’s been secretly wishing for some alone time as well.  
  
Kei takes a hesitant step forward.  
‘Okay, so what now?’ he asks slowly.  
  
Yamaguchi looks at him shyly.  
Blushes.  
‘Geez, Tsukki, are you going to make me say it out loud?’  
  
Kei grins, and with a few steps, closes the distance between their bodies.  
  
‘Maybe I’ll let you paint it on your skin,’ he whispers boldly before he kisses him.  
  
Yamaguchi immediately responds by wrapping his arms around Kei’s neck and pulling him closer. Close enough for their bodies to touch _everywhere_.  
  
Just like last time, their lips instantly and perfectly move together, even though they haven’t kissed often.  
But they don’t need to figure out each other’s rhythm, or shift their heads to find the right position.  
No, they fit together perfectly.  
  
And it feels so great, this physical confirmation that they _are_ perfect for each other, that Kei daringly pushes Yamaguchi back until his back is against the wall.  
This earns him a small, stifled sound of pleasure and surprise.  
Kei immediately wants to hear it again.  
  
His tongue slides over Yamaguchi’s lips, who opens them eagerly, while Kei lets his hand trail lightly along Yamaguchi’s side, his touch almost ticklish.

Except Yamaguchi isn’t ticklish.

Yamaguchi _is_ , however, thrilled by this, because he presses his body firmly against Kei’s, choking the air that might’ve been left between them. He shifts his hips slightly against Kei.  
It makes Kei’s blood boil.  
  
It’s also getting harder to think.  
  
Especially as Yamaguchi slips a hand under his shirt.  
  
Kei shivers as Yamaguchi trails his hand up over his stomach, and down towards his pants.  
That’s…  
He really tries to keep in his groan, but fails miserably, and Kei feels the blood rise on his cheeks from embarrassment.  
In the hopes of distracting Yamaguchi enough, Kei deepens their kiss.  
From the chuckle against his lips, he guesses it didn’t work.  
  
It’s totally justified if he returns the favour, right?  
  
Skin soft underneath his hands as Kei slips them under Yamaguchi’s shirt, and the goosebumps that raise on Yamaguchi’s skin as a result are pleasing.  
  
But instead of copying the teasing gestures, Kei moves both his hands up, lifting Yamaguchi’s shirt a little. Yamaguchi groans, getting the idea, and lifts his arms above his head.

It’s hard however, to stop kissing Yamaguchi, and Kei mourns the loss of his lips as soon as he breaks away to quickly pull the shirt off.  
  
The reward makes up for it though.  
  
His eyes rake over Yamaguchi’s shoulders, chest and stomach, every bit of skin covered in freckles.  
  
He’s gorgeous.  
  
Sliding his hands over all the exposed skin, as he wanted to do for so long, Kei can no longer ignore the erection pressing against the front of his pants.  
He just hopes it isn’t noticeable.  
  
When he looks up again, he sees Yamaguchi watching him, pupils dilated and breathing heavy.  
It doesn’t feel like a choice when they kiss again.  
  
But, of course, Yamaguchi notices.  
And shyly presses his hand over the bulge in Kei’s pants.  
Kei tenses.  
Tries, tries, _tries_ to keep the sounds in, but.  
He groans against Yamaguchi’s mouth.  
_Yes.  
_  
Then all of a sudden, it’s Kei who’s getting pushed backwards until his back touches the wall, and he’s surprised, because why would they switch up their perfect position, until Yamaguchi pulls back and Kei sees the look in his eyes.  
It’s desperation, hunger, love.  
It’s arousing, that’s what it is.  
  
Yamaguchi’s fingers fiddle with the button on his pants and Kei’s eyes widen, because stars above, he’s still so willingly willing, so very willing-  
  
The door opens.  
  
They both freeze, Yamaguchi in slight panic, Kei mostly in frustration as he calls out angrily, ‘Hinata, get the _fuck_ out.’  
  
A squeak that sounds very unlike Hinata sounds from the door and as Kei turns his head, sees poor Asahi standing there looking _very_ awkward, he feels the blood rushing to his cheeks.  
  
‘S-sorry! Continue, I mean, I’ll g-go!’  
  
Asahi literally runs away.

Nobody says anything for a while.  
  
Kei lets his head fall back against the wall.  
_Thump.  
_ ‘Well that was a disaster,’ he mutters, embarrassed.  
  
But as he looks at Yamaguchi, he sees amusement in those warm brown eyes, and a small smile as Yamaguchi replies, ‘Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get better at kissing eventually.’  
Kei stares at him for a few seconds.  
  
Then they both burst out laughing.  
  
‘Oh my gosh,’ Yamaguchi wheezes, clutching his stomach, ‘I can’t ever look Asahi in the face again. That was so embarrassing!’  
Kei snickers. ‘At least I could always claim you harassed me.’  
Yamaguchi looks incredulous at him. ‘As if they would believe that. Nobody who has any desire to live would harass _you_ , Tsukki.’  
N- Well, okay.  
Fair point.  
‘But... it’s you,’ he replies after a moment.  
‘Hm?’  
‘You’ve always been my exception.’  
  
Silence, as his words register in Yamaguchi’s mind.  
  
Then, looking at the ground with a soft smile on his face, Yamaguchi awkwardly shuffles his feet.  
  
Kei doesn’t know what to say either.  
  
So he opens his arms, feeling particularly stupid while doing so, but Yamaguchi giggles sweetly as he moves in between them.  
As they both wrap their arms around each other, Kei learns that hugging Yamaguchi for five minutes straight is as pleasant as he dreamed it would be.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
Yes, Asahi couldn’t look them in the eyes for a week.  
So no, there was no repeat of their heated make out in the locker room.  
Though it is hard to change clothes there without thinking about what happened.  
Without looking at the wall where he pushed Yamaguchi against.  
  
Not very helpful.  
  
Kei sighs as he watches a grasshopper jump to another leaf. He idly picks at his lunch, not very hungry.  
Well, he is sorta hungry.  
But of a different kind.  
  
Beside him, Yamaguchi yawns.  
He always gets sleepy in the sun.  
It’s cute.  
  
What isn’t cute however, is how _orange_ Hinata’s hair looks when the sun is shining.  
Kei quickly diverges his gaze, afraid that Hinata will interpret it as an invitation to start talking to him or something.  
It lands on Kageyama instead, who’s methodically eating his lunch like it’s a necessity of life rather than something he enjoys. Kei wonders if that’s also how he thinks about Hinata.  
He snickers.  
  
Yamaguchi leans his head on Kei’s shoulder and yawns again.  
  
‘Didn’t get enough sleep?’ Hinata asks.  
  
They both freeze, and Kei self-consciously tugs his sleeves lower. They took care to write on their upper arms last night, but still. Wouldn’t want Hinata to read something he shouldn’t.  
Yamaguchi notices his movement and giggles.  
  
‘No,’ he sighs and, as if it troubles him greatly, adds, ‘Tsukki just kept talking to me.’  
A weird snort comes from Kageyama.  
Kei lifts his eyebrows.  
  
‘Sorry, I couldn’t imagine Tsukishima saying more than a few words to someone.’  
  
It’s said in such a levelled voice that Kei isn’t really offended.  
But still.  
‘Why do we hang out with these people?’ he mutters to Yamaguchi.  
Yamaguchi smiles.  
‘You don’t have to hang out with them, if you don’t want to.’  
Kei grumbles.  
‘But you’re here.’  
Yamaguchi’s smile widens, which lights up his whole face, and it’s like a punch to the gut.  
Kei has to take a deep breath in order to get over himself.  
_Yes, body, I know I’m head over heels in love with Yamaguchi Tadashi. No need to choke me for it.  
  
_ ‘You know, we heard that,’ Hinata interrupts. ‘It’s not like we want to hang with _you_ either.’  
And he sticks out his tongue like the five year old that he is.  
‘I don’t know,’ says Kageyama. ‘I think I’m okay with Tsukishima.’  
The shocked silence that follows would be golden, except Kei isn’t sure he’s heard that correctly.  
‘Whatever did I do to you?’ he asks in surprise.  
Kageyama shrugs.  
‘You’re so nice to Yamaguchi, you can’t be that bad.’  
‘Yes but they’re _soulmates_ ,’ Hinata whines.  
Kageyama frowns at Hinata, who, pathetically Kei must add, glares back.  
  
Distracted by the stare-off between Kageyama and Hinata, Kei doesn’t notice Yamaguchi moving his hand until he’s interlacing their fingers.  
  
His hand is warm.  
  
This is the first time they’ve been so public about their… relationship.  
A bubbly, happy feeling rises in his chest and Kei blushes involuntarily, which makes Yamaguchi giggle.  
There’s a blush on Yamaguchi’s cheeks as well as he whispers, ‘Cute.’  
And Kei wants to scowl, he really does, but he can’t help smiling in return.  
‘Ew, gross,’ Hinata wails.  
Make that a four year old.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
But for all the longing looks, the heated gazes and shy smiles, school and volleyball get in the way of some alone time.  
It would be frustrating, if it weren’t for the fact that Kei’s so tired at the end of every day that he’s sure he wouldn’t have the energy to be a nervous, love struck wreck around Yamaguchi.  
  
Suddenly, words on his arm.  


_i’m thinking about you right now_

With the energy of an eighty year old man, Kei lifts his hand slowly to grab the pen on his bedside table.  
  
_how do you have the energy for thinking  
  
_ Kei lazily turns his head and sees that it’s currently 10 pm. He groans.  
Just one more day until the weekend.  


_are you too tired?_

The message makes Kei blink. _Too_ tired?  
For what exactly?  
He raises himself up on his elbows.  
  
_I’m listening  
_

_I don’t want you listening, I want you watching_

Kei swallows.  
Suddenly, he’s not so tired anymore.  
It’s great how hormones work like that.  
  
New words appear on his skin.  


_I remembered something you said about  
_ _paint_

Confused, Kei reads the sentence again.  
What does Yamaguchi mean?  
His skin prickles from excitement and anticipation.  
  
Then he sees it.  
On his wrist, a smear of blue paint appears.  
It travels upwards and disappears under his sleeve, so he rolls it up, sees the line continuing over his arm, travelling over his bicep and then… disappearing beneath his sweater again.  
  
Kei bites his lip as he takes it off.

The line stops moving near his collarbone, so Kei leans back on his elbows again.  
  
It’s as if Yamaguchi knew that he would have to take his sweater off.  
  
Because after the small pause, the line continues, going down over his chest, right over his nipple, and Kei shudders at that even though he can’t feel anything, then down, down, down across the plains of his abdomen.  
It’s entrancing to watch the blue paint travel over his body, being painted on by an invisible hand.  
  
Except it’s Yamaguchi’s hand.  
  
And as the paint reaches the beginning of his pants, Kei suddenly _realizes_ that Yamaguchi.  
Yamaguchi is touching himself.  
His cheeks grow hot.  
He’s touching himself and at the same time, he’s ‘touching’ Kei.  
That’s.  
  
With shaking fingers, from excitement not nerves, Kei unbuttons his pants and shimmies them off his hips.  
  
The blue paint lingers on his hipbone for a while, and Kei grunts in frustration.  
It’s as if he can feel Yamaguchi’s finger, teasing the sensitive skin there.  
  
Then the paint slips under his boxers.  
  
Kei quickly kicks them off.  
Holds his breath.  
His cock is lying hard against his stomach, aroused from the thought of Yamaguchi touching him… there.  
  
Luckily, Yamaguchi doesn't let him wait.

A line of blue paint slowly encircles the head, and Kei releases a shaky breath as he watches the line move teasingly down his cock. Over his balls.  
Then stop, the touch disappearing.  
  
Kei raises himself slightly, wanting to see if perhaps he missed the continuation, if it went _there_ , but suddenly two handprints appear on his inner thighs and they’re smudging, as if the hands are _gripping_ , pushing.  
With a groan, Kei spreads his legs.  
  
The handprints roam over the inside of his inner thighs, the dark blue paint leaving large streaks over his pale skin.  
  
It’s as if he can _feel_ Yamaguchi touching him, so eagerly and desperately.  
Kei closes his eyes for a second, the thoughts too much, too erotic, but. He wants to see Yamaguchi touching him, and himself, so he forces them open again.  
  
The hands are gone.  
  
But a blue handprint appears on his cock, encircling it.  
  
Kei has to bit his lip to keep in the moan threatening to escape his lips as he watches the paint smudge, the hand gripping him firmly, moving up and down slowly.  
  
Yamaguchi’s touching him  
touching himself  
like  
this  
  
Kei shifts his hips desperately, needing the friction of Yamaguchi’s hands, wanting his hands _on_ him  
  
Four thin, sharp lines rake over his left inner thigh, nails dragging themselves across the sensitive skin, and it’s getting so hard to keep his eyes open.  
‘Fffuck,’ he breathes.  
  
By now it’s getting harder to see Yamaguchi’s hand moving, as he’s jerking himself off faster.  
  
Kei’s hands grab the sheets underneath him as he’s thrusting his hips up, panting.  
  
A handprint travels roughly over his chest and stomach and Kei wants to feel Yamaguchi’s hands all over him _so badly_  
  
It’s a miracle that he even sees it.  
But his gaze falls on his arm.  
He sees Yamaguchi circling the words he’d written before.  


_i’m thinking about you right now_

_Fuck._  
With a moan, Kei feels himself coming, white streaks of cum splattering on his stomach.  
  
He lets his head fall back on the bed as he’s still catching his breath and dazedly looks at the stars on his ceiling.  
That was… wow.  
  
After a minute or two, he slowly lifts himself up again, having to deal with the grossness on his stomach.  
He’s reaching for a tissue when Yamaguchi, who’s apparently not entirely boneless, manages to find a clean part of his skin and writes,  


_well that was a nice night sky we painted there_

This time, Kei’s groan isn’t sexual.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*

                            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I totally understand if commenting on smut makes you uncomfortable, don't worry! That being said, I DO appreciate comments because damn, smut still isn't a breeze to write haha. Also I had the funniest conversation with my best friend after she read this chapter
> 
> Friend: "You realize that the sex industry has capitalized on this soulmate shit"  
> Me: "Probably. They probably bought the paint at the soulmate activity centre"  
> Friend: "Hihi yeah, near the awkward section, like in drugstores. Pleasure paints I call them"  
> Me: "hahahah oh that actually sounds... pretty good"
> 
> I don't know if they're a thing ?? Idk, I just laughed about this. Great name. I'm sure Kei would appreciate it.
> 
> Thank you so much btw, for commenting on the last chapter when I was having a rough day. You're all so sweet and it really helped a lot <3 Thank you for that!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely, lovely people!
> 
> I did it! I finished the story this weekend, and I was WAY too excited to stick to my update schedule of every three or four days. Sorry!  
> Also, I cannot believe this is the last chapter woah.  
> But don't worry, I'll save the mush for the endnotes. 
> 
> Warning, this chapter is MATURE as well. Starts at "their kiss quickly turns more heated" and ends at "Kei has half a mind to"
> 
> That being said, enjoy reading!

  
Sometimes, family is unnecessary.  
Especially his brother, Kei could do without.  
  
It’s a Thursday night and they’re having dinner, they including his brother.  
Ridiculous.  
Isn’t he supposed to be at uni, making something of his life? Educating himself on how not to be annoying?  
  
Because the grin on his brother's face tells Kei he will not like what Akiteru’s going to say next.  
  
‘So how was dinner with the new soulmates?’

It takes Kei a few seconds to figure out where this is going, but unfortunately, his father responds immediately with a, ‘Huh? There hasn’t been a dinner with Yamaguchi.’  
Kei cannot remember telling his father about Yamaguchi.  
_Did everyone else somehow already know?  
_ ‘Yet,’ his mother chimes in.  
Akiteru looks shocked at Kei.  
‘Really?’ he says. ‘You don’t want to introduce your loving parents and amazing big brother to your _soulmate_?’  
Kei grumbles. ‘It’s Yamaguchi, you’ve all seen him a hundred times.’  
‘True,’ his father says.  
‘But we haven’t had dinner with him in a while,’ his mother hums.  
His father nods. ‘I think it would be nice to sit down as a family.’  
Kei groans.

After a few encouraging words from his parents, he eventually promises them that he’ll ask Yamaguchi tomorrow.

Akiteru smiles, and then, to Kei’s outrage, _winks_ at him.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
‘So,’ Kei stalls.  
Has been stalling for the past couple of minutes now.  
By the amused smile on Yamaguchi’s face, he sees that he’s really not fooling anyone, but that Yamaguchi will wait patiently until Kei’s ready.  
  
They’re standing at the side in the gym, while the third years are practicing a few moves on their own.  
From the corner of his eye, Kei can see Hinata and Kageyama bickering about something, only Kageyama doesn’t look half as frustrated as Hinata.  
It suddenly hits him.  
‘Wait, does Kageyama have a crush on Hinata?’  
His sudden revelation seems to surprise Yamaguchi.  
‘Yes? You finally noticed?’  
Kei gapes. ‘ _Why?_ ’  
Yamaguchi shrugs casually. ‘I guess Hinata’s thinking the same thing about me.’  
Kei turns to Yamaguchi in shock.  
How is this beautifully savage person his soulmate again?

‘Be like that,’ he scoffs, ‘I won’t ask you for dinner at my place then.’

The glint in Yamaguchi’s eyes shows Kei just how well Yamaguchi knows him.

‘Did your parents ask me?’  
‘Yeah,’ Kei says, defeated.  
‘When?’  
‘Tonight.’  
Yamaguchi’s fingers lightly touch his hand, the touch casual but reassuring.  
‘I’d love to, Tsukki.’  
Without looking him in the eyes, Kei shyly curls his pinky finger around Yamaguchi’s. They both say nothing, content with the small contact.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
‘Hello Tadashi!’  His mother greets Yamaguchi enthusiastically.  
Yamaguchi bows politely and, like always, starts up a conversation with his mother, who’s finishing up the last preparations for their meal.  
Kei walks towards the living room and finds his brother there.  
‘Kei,’ his brother calls him over. ‘Don’t worry about tonight, I got it.’  
And then does the absurd winking thing again.  
‘Do you have something in your eye?’  
‘What? No-’

But his brother’s cut off by his mother calling ‘Dinner’s ready!’  
  
Nothing unpleasant has happened during dinner so far, and Kei feels relieved.  
Until.  
‘How are things at the university?’ Yamaguchi asks his brother.  
‘Terrible,’ Tsukki replies. ‘I don’t think he knows what to do with his life at all.’  
‘And _you_ do?’ Akiteru asks, slightly offended.  
Kei snorts. ‘No, but I have enough options.’  
He sees his brother wanting to say something witty back, but coming up short, so Kei’s about to solidify his win with a smug remark when Yamaguchi says, ‘I don’t think watching documentaries for a living is a thing, Tsukki.’  
Wow. In his _own_ house.  
Honestly.  
His father chuckles and stuffs another piece of broccoli in his mouth while his mother tries to turn the conversation polite again by asking, ‘Do you know what you want to do or study, Tadashi?’  
No mercy.  
‘Yeah, Yamaguchi’s really good at painting,’ Kei deadpans.  
Yamaguchi nearly chokes on his noodles.  
‘Oh really?’ His mother sounds genuinely interested.  
‘Yes,’ Kei continues, ‘He especially loves painting the night sky.’  
Turning gradually redder, Yamaguchi coughs and quickly takes a large gulp of water.  
‘Actually,’ he mumbles awkwardly, ‘I _am_ interested in art.’

Kei feels terrible.  
_Terrible._  
Because he knows that it’s a secret passion of his best friend, and now it looks like he’s not taking him seriously.  
‘Don’t mind Kei, he’s in that awkward teen phase right now,’ his mother replies. ‘You do have a way with stars though. From what I’ve seen on Kei’s hand, they’re quite expertly drawn.’  
‘Yes,’ his father chimes in, ‘I do admire the way you draw them, so precise. Nearly perfect.’  
And Kei finds it funny that everyone in the Tsukishima household has noticed how expertly Yamaguchi’s stars are drawn.  
But.  
He casts a look at Yamaguchi, who doesn’t know what to say or do, flustered by all the praise, but Kei still feels like has to make up for his careless behaviour just then. So when he catches Yamaguchi’s beautiful brown eyes, he throws caution to the wind and says, ‘I still think your freckles are the most perfect stars.’  
  
Yamaguchi blinks a few times in surprise, then ducks his head from embarrassment.  
But this time, it’s the good kind of embarrassment.  
  
Kei doesn’t look at his parents or brother, knows that they’re probably watching him with doting and/or amused looks.  
No, he keeps his eyes on Yamaguchi, who looks up shyly through his bangs, and smiles at his soulmate.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
During dessert, his brother starts yawning really, no but _really_ , loudly. Repeatedly.  
Do they really share the same DNA?  
  
‘I’m _so_ tired.’  
‘We’ve noticed,’ Kei replies.  
‘Yes, but I’m _really_ tired.’  
Yamaguchi giggles behind his hand when he sees Kei’s face.  
‘Will you be okay going home tonight?’ his mother asks worriedly.  
‘I don’t know,’ another yawn, ‘I don’t think so.’  
What?  
Beneath the table, Yamaguchi lightly touches his leg with Kei’s.  
Still distracted by his brother, Kei absentmindedly presses his leg back.  
‘Really?’ His father asks, also slightly concerned. ‘Don’t overwork yourself, Akiteru.’  
His parents share a look.  
‘Perhaps it’s better if we drive you back.’  
_What?  
_ ‘But that’s two hours,’ Kei splutters.  
The look his brother sends him is one of utter disappointment.  
‘Yes, but I really can’t make it on my own tonight,’ his brother quickly adds.  
His mother shrugs. ‘So be it.’  
  
And so after dessert, his parents run around to grab a few things for the drive while Akiteru stays with Kei.  
He, yes really, fucking winks again.  
‘Enjoy,’ his brother grins.  
Yamaguchi blushes.  
  
It’s like someone put a carton box in front of him with a lamp in it. The carton box clearly showed a picture of a lamp.  
But still, Kei needed someone else to unpack the box, assemble the lamp, put it on his fucking head and turn it on.  
  
_Oh._  
  
Not knowing what else to say or do, Kei awkwardly mutters, ‘Thanks.’  
  
At the door, he hugs his brother, says goodbye and see you probably too soon, then waves at his parents, promising them they won’t burn anything.  
‘That’s going to be tough,’ his brother snickers, ‘Seeing as they’re both so savage.’  
  
Then the car drives away and they’re alone.  
Um.  
Now what?  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
It takes a moment for Kei to look at Yamaguchi.  
‘Do you want to… watch something?’ he asks awkwardly.  
Yamaguchi nods, not meeting his eyes.  
  
They walk upstairs to Kei’s bedroom and choose a bad vampire movie this time.  
  
And Kei tries to focus on the movie, really.  
But it’s difficult, because he’s extremely aware of the space between their bodies.  
The possibility of touch.  
Should he kiss Yamaguchi?  
He wants to.  
  
But wouldn’t that be too…  
  
He decides against it.  
  
Halfway through the movie, Kei stands up to get some snacks and Yamaguchi takes the laptop. They say nothing.  
  
So far, this is terrible, Kei thinks as he fills two glasses with Fanta. If this is how other soulmates begin their sexy nights, it’s a miracle that there are any children at all.  
  
It’s not that he doesn’t want to kiss Yamaguchi, he would very much like to.  
And more.  
It’s just that he doesn’t know where to start.  
  
After handing Yamaguchi the drinks and snacks, they settle on his bed again and continue with the movie.  
Eating snacks, yes, that will provide lovely opportunities for them to make out.  
Kei sighs.  
‘Same,’ Yamaguchi mumbles.  
This has Kei raising his eyebrows in surprise, but Yamaguchi gestures at the laptop screen.  
‘This movie is _so_ bad.’  
Oh, yeah, they were watching a movie.  
  
After the movie’s ended, Kei stands up again, this time to clear away the snacks and drinks.  
They still haven’t spoken a lot, and as Kei glances at the clock downstairs he sees that an hour and a half has passed. His parents must be close to Akiteru’s dormitory now.  
  
When he’s back upstairs, Yamaguchi isn’t on the bed.  
  
For a wild second, Kei fears he has run off, the awkward tension too much to handle, but then he sees Yamaguchi looking through the telescope.  
  
Kei moves to stand behind him, simply watching the sky as well.  
Through the window, not the telescope.

‘How’s the night sky?’ he asks.  
Yamaguchi hums, but doesn’t look away. ‘Not as pretty as ours.’  
‘The one we made when we were younger or…?’  
Yamaguchi laughs.  
‘I actually meant the painting we made in primary school, yes.’  
  
Not wanting to disturb him, Kei silently watches Yamaguchi.  
The way his hair falls over his eyes, or sticks out at odd angles near the back of his head.  
The way his eyebrows furrow slightly, in concentration.  
The way his eyes search for any new constellations, unknown stars.  
The way his mouth is slightly open, because he’s focused on the night sky.  
  
He wants to kiss him.  
  
This wanting used to be a dull, shy longing, a wish that Kei didn’t dare think about.  
Now, it’s a fierce craving, a wanting, to be connected with Yamaguchi in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever have.  
And it’s probably for that particular reason, and Kei’s disbelief at his own _luck_ , that has him yearning constantly for everything he’s now allowed to do.  
  
He didn’t notice Yamaguchi was watching him out the corner of his eyes until he asks, ‘What are you thinking about?’  
Kei’s replies without thinking, ‘Kissing you.’  
He sees Yamaguchi’s lips curve in a small smile.  
  
‘I want you to think about kissing me as much as I think about kissing you,’ Kei confesses.  
  
Slowly, Yamaguchi straightens himself.  
  
Nervously biting his lip, he watches Kei for a while.  
  
‘I think about you all the time,’ he whispers finally, ‘Especially kissing you.’  
  
Well, then.  
  
‘Kiss me,’ Kei says.  
  
A blush rises on Yamaguchi’s cheeks, but he doesn’t falter as he takes the few steps to close the distance between them.  
They’re nose to nose now.  
Kei looks into Yamaguchi’s big, warm brown eyes, and feels his heart swell at the love he sees there.  
  
Then Yamaguchi leans forward and touches Kei’s lips with his, the kiss sweet and soft.  
When he pulls back, Kei’s sure he has a dreamy look on his face because Yamaguchi smiles slightly.  
  
‘I love you,’ Yamaguchi says softly.  
  
The words make Kei feel so absurdly sappy and happy, that he leans forward and catches Yamaguchi’s lips in a kiss again.  
  
Their kiss quickly turns more heated, more passionate.  
Kei lets Yamaguchi guide them to the bed, then takes off his shirt before they sit down.  
Yamaguchi bites his lip as he looks at Kei’s chest nervously, _eagerly_ , which Kei thinks is adorable.  
But he’s really not one to talk.  
He’s been drooling over Yamaguchi for years.

Just like at Yamaguchi’s house, they fall on the bed, only this time Kei isn’t afraid to crush Yamaguchi, instead he _wants_ to press their bodies together as tightly as possible.  
Yamaguchi makes a desperate sound in the back of his throat.  
It heats Kei’s blood.  
  
Not wanting to waste another minute of their precious alone time, Kei expertly undoes the buttons on Yamaguchi’s pants and Yamaguchi quickly shoves them down before reaching for Kei’s as well.  
When they’re both in their boxers, Kei slowly lowers himself.  
Where their naked skin touches, electricity sparks.  
Kei vaguely wonders if it’s possible to feel more aroused, but then Yamaguchi moves his hips, rubs himself against Kei and Kei feels his arms shake as he bites his lip to hold in his groan.  
_That’s- fuck  
_  
Their mouths slide together feverishly, until Yamaguchi grinds against Kei so hard, _so good_ , that he breaks away with a gasp.  
  
When he looks at Yamaguchi underneath him, there’s an intense longing in his eyes.  
  
Dipping his head, Kei presses openmouthed kisses against Yamaguchi’s neck, who moans in response, his hands and nails raking over Kei’s back.  
  
Wanting it all, wanting more, Kei nudges a hand between their bodies and presses it against the bulge in Yamaguchi’s boxers.  
A sharp intake of breath, and Yamaguchi is raising his hips, desperately seeking the friction.  
Kei gives it to him.  
  
He grips Yamaguchi through his boxers, feels the hardness there, and feels his own erection throb in response.  
  
‘Kei,’ Yamaguchi breathes, so Kei lifts his head, stops his hand and looks at him.  
The flushed and breathless look suits Yamaguchi _very_ well.  
‘No?’ Kei asks.  
Yamaguchi laughs shortly. ‘ _Yes_.’  
A little confused, Kei asks, ‘Then?’  
  
But suddenly, Yamaguchi can’t look him in the eye, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and oh, Kei knows what sort of question this will be.  
  
Just the tiniest bit impatient, he squeezes Yamaguchi’s cock, still beneath his hand.  
‘ _Ah_ ,’ Yamaguchi breathes, eyes fluttering shut for a minute before he glowers pathetically at Kei.  
Kei grins back.  
And does it again.  
Moaning, Yamaguchi catches Kei’s wrist and gently but firmly pries his hand off him.  
‘Sorry, if I’m being forward, but-’ he sounds breathless and _very sexy_ and Kei finds it difficult to focus, ‘B-but after kissing you, I’m wondering what the rest of you will taste like…’  
the rest-  
_Stars above, since when could Yamaguchi say things like that?  
_ Kei doesn’t know what to say to that, breath stuck in his throat.  
So he just nods.  
_  
_ Shyly, but enthusiastically, Yamaguchi sits up, and they switch positions.  
Kei has no time to feel awkward or embarrassed as Yamaguchi moves down his body and pulls off his boxers, because as soon as he’s completely naked, his attention narrows to the small, warm breaths against his cock.  
It’s teasing, arousing, and makes Kei shiver from anticipation.  
  
The first touch of tongue against his heated skin is too much and not enough at the same time.  
Kei’s breath hitches.  
  
‘You don’t have to,’ he says breathlessly.  
Yamaguchi looks up, his face so close to- it looks so…  
His eyes are dark and heated as he replies, ‘Oh but Kei, I _want_ to.’  
Then takes him into his mouth.  
  
As Yamaguchi gently bobs his head up and down, Kei clenches his fists in the bedsheets, struggling to hold on.  
To not come right on the spot.  
_fuckfuckfuck  
_  
Then Yamaguchi releases him with a wet pop, only to trace his tongue over the head, then sucking gently before going down once more.  
  
‘Oh _fuck_.’  
  
Kei can’t hold the sounds in.  
But Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, he bobs his head enthusiastically up and down, faster and faster.  
Kei’s legs are shaking.  
The wet heat of Yamaguchi’s mouth feels _incredible._  
  
Yamaguchi moans around him.  
‘Wha-what about you?’ Kei manages to ask between harsh breaths.  
He lifts his head to look at Yamaguchi, but immediately recognizes it for the bad idea that it is.  
  
The sight of Yamaguchi’s lips around his cock, sliding up and down, eyes closed and-  
hand between his own legs, jerking himself off  
it looks so _sexy  
_ fuck  
  
Kei groans.  
Can’t take it anymore.  
‘ _Fu-_ don’t stop,’ he gasps as his stomach clenches, the heat in his body building, building, and Yamaguchi doesn’t stop, but takes Kei deep in his mouth, and swallows as Kei comes with a loud groan.  
  
Kei immediately sits up.  
‘Sorry!’ he blurts out. ‘I didn’t mean that you need to swallow, I just- it felt so good, I didn’t know what I was sayi-’  
Yamaguchi interrupts him with a searing hot kiss.  
  
Needing no further permission, Kei throws his arms around Yamaguchi’s neck and pulls their bodies against each other again.  
Feeling the hard-on against his thigh, his hand quickly finds Yamaguchi’s cock and closes around it.  
  
Yamaguchi moans against his mouth.  
‘ _Yes_ , Tsukki.’  
  
‘Sit up,’ Kei murmurs, and Yamaguchi obeys.  
Looks down at him with blown out pupils and flushed cheeks.  
  
‘I want to see you,’ Kei says, as he grips Yamaguchi more firmly in his hand and starts jerking him off.  
  
Yamaguchi’s hips twitch restlessly, so Yamaguchi braces himself on his hands, placing them behind him.  
  
The way he’s leaning back, legs spread, body on display for him, has Kei’s cock twitch in interest and he tightens his grip for a second.  
Yamaguchi gasps. ‘ _Ah._ ’  
  
Kei feels, sees, Yamaguchi’s arms trembling, hips thrusting forward, his eyes shut tightly from pleasure.  
His lips are parted, harsh pants leaving his mouth.  
‘You’re so sexy,’ Kei groans.  
  
Yamaguchi bites his lips to keep in a moan.  
  
Kei can feel how hard Yamaguchi is in his hands, how close he must be.  
And he wants more, suddenly.  
  
Without any warning, he grabs Yamaguchi’s hips and pulls him towards him while scooting down himself.  
And without any warning, he takes Yamaguchi’s cock into his mouth.  
  
Above him, Yamaguchi lurches forward with a gasp, half from losing his balance, half from pleasure as Kei feels his body shake.

‘ _Yes yes yes_ ,’ he moans. ‘I’m so close, ah, Kei, I’m-’  
  
And Kei swallows everything, and it doesn’t exactly taste nice, but it’s more than worth it when he hears Yamaguchi’s desperate moans and feels his hips twitch and shake from pleasure.  
  
Supporting himself on trembling arms, Yamaguchi tries to catch his breath.  
Kei presses a quick kiss against the head of his softening cock, which makes Yamaguchi shiver, then laugh breathlessly.  
  
He falls down beside him, and Kei rolls onto his side to watch him.  
Yamaguchi turns his head as well.  
They stay like that for a while, watching each other, trying to slow down their breathing and their wildly beating hearts.  
  
Their hands find each other, fingers intertwining, and soon their legs and their bodies follow.  
  
Kei has half a mind to throw a blanket over themselves before they drift off to sleep.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
If Kei’s parents come to check on them, they don’t wake them up, because when Kei opens his eyes, the sun’s shining.  
It’s morning.  
  
Yamaguchi is still sleeping in his arms.  
He looks cute, sleeping, so Kei doesn’t move just yet, instead lets his mind wander to yesterday.  
His body responds fairly quickly, interested.  
  
Kei’s more than content to just lie there, but of course Yamaguchi notices, even asleep, and shifts his hips back, pressing himself against Kei’s erection.  
Kei groans quietly.  
  
Yamaguchi giggles.  
‘Good morning, Tsukki.’  
  
It doesn’t take long before Kei sneaks his arm between Yamaguchi’s legs, jerking him off quickly, and Yamaguchi gasps into the sheets, his sounds of pleasure muffled.  
  
Afterwards, when they’re both pleasantly boneless and staring at each other, Kei places tiny kisses all over Yamaguchi’s face.  
It makes Yamaguchi giggle, but Kei is relentless.  
  
‘One day, I’ll kiss every freckle.’  
  
Yamaguchi stares at him, breathless.  
  
‘I don’t think that’s possible.’  
  
Kei frowns, feigning disappointment.  
  
‘The difference between impossible and possible, is a man’s determination.’  
  
Yamaguchi laughs, ‘If only you had the same attitude with volleyball.’  
  
Again.  
In his _own_ house.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
When Yamaguchi’s gone, and Kei’s in his room alone, it hits him.  
  
Not the fact that they did the sexual things, the not-so-reproductive things, but.  
  
Yamaguchi’s soft voice echoes in his mind.  
‘ _I love you.’  
_  
He hadn’t said anything back.  
  
Phone in his hand, he’s almost texting Yamaguchi in his panic, but- really?  
Saying ‘I love you’ via text for the first time?  
That’s just bad manners.  
  
Then his gaze falls on the pen beside his bed.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
The next day, the first words Yamaguchi reads are:  
_  
I love you in the morning  
  
_ Then, as he’s eating a self-indulgent piece of cake with his cup of tea,  
  
_I love you in the afternoon  
  
_ When the sun disappears with soft orange and pink colours, he’s almost waiting for it, watching the sentences on his arms with excitement.  
  
_I love you in the evening  
  
_ Smiling down at his arm, as he’s been doing for the last couple of weeks now, Yamaguchi buries himself beneath his blankets. Allows himself to bask in the glow of being in love and being loved in return.  
Until his phone buzzes.  
  
[From: Tsukkiii ☽]  
Can you come outside?  
  
Confused, Yamaguchi searches for his shoes and a sweater to put on, then tiptoes past the living room and silently opens the front door. He can’t see very well in the dark, but he knows that Tsukki won’t let him go outside for nothing.  
  
As he stands outside, he can’t help but gaze up and watch all the tiny, sparkling stars, a much better view than the glow in the dark ones on his bedroom ceiling.  
But what really catches his attention, always does, is the gorgeous, glowing moon.  
Beside the mysterious and entrancing moon, the stars shine even brighter.  
  
He knows Tsukki is in front of him.  
So he looks at him.  
His soulmate.  
_Knew it.  
  
_ Tsukki smiles his secret smile, the one he’s had since they were younger, usually meaning that he has some sort of wonderful surprise for Yamaguchi.  
  
From one of his pockets, Tsukki produces a pen, the pen Yamaguchi’s seen lying on his bedside table for a while, and gestures for Yamaguchi’s arm.  
  
_Ah._  
Yamaguchi smiles and rolls up his sleeve.  
  
  
      ⋆*☆⋆*  
  
  
The words are still there on his skin, as Kei hoped they would.  
He didn’t know if wishing and whispering to your skin would work, but there you have it.  
Very scientific, this.  
  
His hands gently take hold of Yamaguchi’s arm, to steady him as Kei writes the final line.  
  
Then he places both his hands on Yamaguchi’s perfect, handsome, smiling face and kisses him.  
Gently.  
Softly.  
Lovingly.  
  
  
_and underneath the moon.  
_  
  
       ⋆*☆☽⋆*                                                                                       
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was so satisfying and so weird at the same time to write the last chapter, the last scene, of this story. Because I've been working on it for so long and I have to say goodbye now and that's always a little sad.  
> BUT, I'm also super grateful that I sat down one night and just wrote about my TsukkiYama feels, and this amazing story started happening (am I allowed to call my own story that?). I'm happy with the way it turned out, and it was an absolute blast to write, though I had my anxieties about it as well. But YOU GUYS, you lovely readers, you really helped me through those rough patches with your kinds words and support.  
> I really, from the bottom of my heart, would like to thank you all for staying with this story. It has meant so much to me, and allowed me to finish this with the most enjoyment I could possibly have. THANK YOU, you are AMAZING!  
> So,  
> Thanks for reading, and I do hope, that the night sky is pretty, wherever you are ☆  
>    
>  _"I love you in the morning_  
>  _I love you in the afternoon_  
>  _I love you in the evening,_  
>  _and underneath the moon."_
> 
> EDIT: loook at [this GORGEOUS art](http://kaphna.tumblr.com/post/165636069478/i-love-you-in-the-morning-i-love-you-in-the) by kaphna !! 
> 
> but also [this beautiful Tsukki! ](https://twitter.com/pateticaestetic/status/888426312104280064) by propagandapanda!!


End file.
